Over the past weekend it seemed apparent I needed some serious comedy after a weekend hospital visit to rejuvenate so I spent some time cruising through the On Demand list of comedic claptrap and came across Horrible Bosses (2011) with Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston and Jason Sudeikis. No, I did not watch much of the Bronco game…remember I said comedic, not horribly tragic (could there be a worse team in football right now?). This fun release is 106 minutes of pretty mindless silliness that made me smile at some of the lines. Having worked for my own version of a Horrible Boss back in the day, I began to wonder if I was being a horrible boss to the Ranch hands after handing out today’s safety memo at our morning ‘Editor’s meeting.’
~ SAFETY MEMO ~
To: All Ranch Hands
FROM: Resident Horrible Boss Management
Date: October 17, 2018
It has come to the attention of management that adherence to promulgated safety concerns are being ignored. Safety of management on daily walks is paramount to the continually providing of benefits (meals, treats, romps in the snow, endless patience on potty breaks during winter weather, etc.). See New Rules and Poodle Rules for specifics.
Henceforth it would be most appreciated if (a) Sam, you didn’t walk in front of management on walks and (b) Elsa, you would not walk behind management’s back to get back into simpatico balance while Sam executes his “let’s cut in front of management” move, simultaneously.
The weather has gotten significantly cooler and gloves are now the accoutrement du jour for walks, please note it will take time getting used to holding two leashes, two poop bags, while keeping everything upright without slipping on wet leaves (or worse) with gloves. No doubt management will make the necessary adjustments with time and practice but your cooperation during the transition would be appreciated.
Please contact Management if you have any concerns or questions. Remember the door is always open to the bathroom since personal boundaries were abandoned years ago. Thank you.
Signed,
The Ranch Manager
What do you think the odds are that the Ranch hands will think I’m a horrible boss and do you think there’s any chance they’ll comply with the latest safety request? Yeah, I thought the same thing. Maybe I should remind them that I’m not a dentist.
Live, love, bark! 🐾
I love it! The addition of gloves to the walking wardrobe always complicates things! Luke especially has no patience when I need to take them off to distribute treats
It makes for some interesting maneuvers and a couple of impatient faces who don’t understand why it’s taking so blinking long to retrieve them from my ‘magic’ pocket. 😊
LOL!! I would guess that you are their favorite boss!! But as for them listening to your memo , well……it’s good that they are sooo cute right. 🙂
I’m such a pushover when I get ‘those’ eye stares.
How can you not be! 🙂
Benji walks beside me and if he wants to cross he crosses at my back and since I only have one dog ( generally) it’s easy to change hands. However, having said all that, even when I have a second dog to look after – Yogi or Dougal – they are both good and walking is a pleasure. Even the WaWa walked well, here, at the Wetlands or at the Beach. American Football I do not understand – and before you reply “I don’t understand Australian Rules Football” that’s ok – I don’t understand it either. Not much of a sport person, really.
If you should start to hear anything along the following lines – be concerned—–be very concerned.. :o)
As a union man I’m wise
To the lies of the company spies
And I don’t get fooled by the factory rules
‘Cause I always read between the lines
And I always get my way
If I strike for higher pay
When I show my card to Scotland Yard
And this is what I say
Oh, you don’t get me, I’m part of the union
You don’t get me, I’m part of the union
You don’t get me, I’m part of the union
Until the day I die, until the day I die
They’re mostly good, it’s just inconvenient when I pick up after them. One goes in front, the other goes behind with me tangled up in the middle between leashes and dog paraphernalia in hand.
Love the union song. Maybe that’s what Sam was humming the other day. Guess I’d keep a close eye out on that Knucklehead before he officially organizes. 😇
Thanks for the pingback!
Lol, management is the best!
Thanks, if only the ‘staff’ thought so. BOL
Keep an eye out for a union meeting in the backyard. BOL!!
That’s what I’m afraid of! 🤣
How did the talks go😉
💜nose nudges💜
They act like they were on board but we all know better. 🤣
Sam and Elsa will listen politely and agree with you. Then when your back is turned they’ll stick their tonques out at you until the treats roll in. There’s your answer….treats will change their minds.
Jean
Yeah, I think I heard “nah, nah, nah, nah, nah” on the last walk.
At least the Broncos have won a Super Bowl. I sadly was born a Buffalo Bills fan and have suffered all my life. We did have a few close calls many years ago but lately they seem to make all the wrong moves.
As for the employees reaction to your memo we bet they will be just fine as long as the treats keep coming.
Treats-flowing makes even life with the Broncos better. I remember all those great days with Jim Kelly who regularly pounded the Brons. Ah, for the glory days, eh? 😊
Monika,
Buahahaha! Yeah umm . . when management sends out memos, it’s glazed donut eyes. What is it with memos and meetings anyways? 😉
Horrible Bosses is hilarious. I came late to it, only seeing it a few years ago, but man . . it is so funny. Jason Bateman . . his dry sense of humor, it’s so good!
As for the Broncos, if their season continues to go downhill . . I say they play the kids and try to get a high draft pick because why not? I don’t see any difference between going say, 7-9 and having the worst record. Either way your team isn’t going to the playoffs, so why not at least get something for the future? Of course, the Raiders are the basement dwellers and they don’t look as if they’re giving it up.
Happy Thursday!
That’s just it…the Donkeys have given up. There is lots of local grumbling about St. Elway…something I never thought would happen in this town. Broncos have dominated the sports media since they wore vertically striped socks but with the migration from all parts of the country, those folks are very unhappy about the way they are losing. The sad part is pure execution (and management) will probably cost Vance Joseph his job (though he probably shouldn’t have been hired in the first place, truth be told).
P.S. Nobody like memos, not even dogs.
Outside of the Patriots, the Broncos are the closest thing to a perennial contender the NFL has had over the past couple decades.
And you’re right, I thought for sure after nabbing Peyton for those two Super Bowl runs granted him Teflon status, but it’s increasingly a “what have you done for me lately?” league. Keenum seemed like a desperate signing after Cousins went to Minny. He’s a solid QB but he ain’t putting a team on his back. Your team is in the same boat as mine, we need a quarterback going into next year. We’ve got your guy Brock at the helm, so yanno . . .
PS- True dat!
There’s no offensive line. Whatsoever. They still think the defense will bail them out, time and time again. Peyton is still a god (he’s a really nice person) but Elway, despite his HoF status, hasn’t proved he can manage overall very well.
Elway brought in the one QB (Peyton) who could make Broncos fans forget Tebow. But you’re right about their current state.
When I first heard Peyton was coming to town, I thought it was Christmas Eve. Could hardly contain my enthusiasm. The first Super Bowl loss was a tough one but he gave the town what they craved most…A winner, both on and off the gridiron. He came at the perfect time to eliminate the stink of Tebow.
I remember my Dolphins were on his list as well. But when I saw that he was flying to Denver, I knew it was fait accompli. You guys had the D and better weapons. We had South Beach and . . South Beach.
The first Super Bowl was over before it started, but it served notice that Denver was gonna be around for a couple years, which they were, culminating in that win over the Panthers.
Peyton visited Miami, but when he took that flight to Denver, I knew it was over. You guys had a defense and weapons. We had South Beach.
Rocky Mountain High beats sand any day. 🏔
Yups, our Niners are WAY worse than your Broncos! Did you happen to see our TRAGIC LOSS on Monday night???? sigh. Such high hopes for the season, dashed by injuries. Wells, there’s always next year! (yeah, not helping…..)
Anyhu, Yeah, that sounds pretty much like Ma’s memo to Moi. I ignored it (as usual), and went about my usual mischief. so, I needs to ask…..who’s really the boss here??? ☺
Kisses,
Ruby ♥
I hear you on injuries. Pretty soon, the Broncos will probably start using life-size cutouts of the offensive line for all their current lousy plays and injuries. *Sigh* Monday was a tough loss for your team. I thought they were gonna win it.
The 49ers can beat out the Broncos as the worst team. It is painful to watch both teams
Ha…look at us…competing for the bottom of the barrel. LOL
The 49ers can beat out the Broncos as worst team so stop complaining. 🙂
If my boss regulated potty breaks like that, I’d think he was horrible too…
Wait…your boss doesn’t do that? Lucky you!
Short of posting armed guards outside of the restrooms (Or as they’re known to some… places where one can sneak in a peek at the phone), there isn’t much they can do to keep my coworkers from their business…
Sometimes we just have to outsmart them…I recently read about leashes that have a vee with 2 clips at the end.
I have a coupler that is similar. When you have a male and a female, potty breaks are on different trajectories so to speak. 😊
Oh yes, forgot that detail. Riley used to pee on Lexi all the time. Except it was her walking under the golden shower.
Sam would gladly pee on Elsa while she’s squatting if I didn’t chase him off her. How rude to crowd when you’re trying to pee!
I think your moms request is reasonable. Since I’ve experienced this very thing, I’m going to take her side.
Have a woof woof Wordless Wednesday. My best to your mom. ♥
Finally…someone to take my side. Thank you! The dogs must have heard your comment because the assassination squad didn’t show up on this morning’s walk. ☺️
Sam and Elsa- take it repast in the boss lady. You should be grateful considering the 1:4 ratio of legs between the three of you. For my girls it is often a solo walk for one and zero for the others, sometimes both but with mom and dad at the reins; mom trying to hold Kloe back and dad tripping to encourage Kali to move along and keep up. Lord knows how we will manage 12legs now that Koda has joined the pack. So…. S & E, I strongly advise you to adhere to the condition described in the recent Ranch hand safety memo. Not to management: good luck with that.😬
And note to myself to take more care for typos when pecking on the iPad! 🤓
I remember those days walking 3 dogs (Sam & the 2 OES). We were a lot like a 3 ring circus some days but luckily they were better as a walking trio than the Knucklehead duo.
You asked a question and the answer is going to be settled tomorrow night. Your 2-4 Broncos will be here to have a tea party with our 1-5 Cardinals. May the worst team lose.
It’ll be painful to watch for all fans. 🏈
I’ve had my share of horrible bosses. And then some. At one job I was a social worker with a boss at the State level, working in a school with the school principal as a boss, and the county supervisors as a third boss.Add in middle schoolers who all thought they were the boss and it was fun.
At least your boss never asked you to submit a feces sample to their doctor. 😲
Sounds like the pups are walking the boss again!
As in walking all over her.😁
I suspect ranch hands will ignore the memo in favor of continued walks and feedings.
Most definitely. They looked at the memo, threw it down, walked over it a couple of times and then Elsa squatted her thoughts on it. ☺️
… and all predictably so.
Indeed. I tried…again…to no avail. Won’t keep me from trying again. Clearly I’m not trainable. 😆
Not a chance. They are talking about you at the water cooler. However, a few treats and they will come around. Not behave but come around…and around until you are wrapped up in leashes.
Haha. That’s what I’m afraid of!
That’s one of the nice things about a fenced-in back yard – I don’t need leashes to get tangled in. 😊
That is a blessing. It’s those walks were everyone wants to cross the ‘streams.’ 😊
naaah they will love their Boss… even anne hathaway loved meryl streep although she was even a devil and wore not prada but fendi&chanel ;O)))
You think Michael Kors will work? 🤣
always… but don’t buy the rusty dress… it is incompatible with human anatomy… totally LOL
In my anatomy not much is compatible 😬