Velcro Dog

The Realities of Owning a Velcro Dog 

IMG_11001. You learn to pee in front of a live audience.

2. You feel guilty going to work…and have frequent meetings with your ‘editor.’

3. … and getting the mail, and taking out the garbage. 

4. You must take small, cautious steps to avoid tripping.  Velcro dogs are ninjas.

5. You always check behind you before turning around (or don’t and then wonder why you didn’t). See #4

6. You get up carefully from the couch because you might step on a pup (see #4 and #). 

7. Once your dog falls asleep on or near you, it is both illegal and frowned upon to disturb him.  Even if your limbs have fallen asleep.

8. They are always close. Too close. You own stock in lint roller companies (or should) because lint rollers are your other BFF. 

9. You make plans with your pup in mind… if they can’t attend, you probably won’t want to either. 

10. That feeling you’re being watched? It’s not in your head. 

11. You find yourself bringing home presents to apologize for leaving in the first place. 

12. When you sit or lay down, so does he. Usually on top of you.

13. They’re always unintentionally photo bombing pictures. Always.

14. When you go to the park, your dog would rather be by your side than play with the other dogs. 

15. Getting into a new relationship? Good luck, because your dog already thinks he’s your significant other. 

16. Good pictures of him are impossible because he is always too close to you or constantly manages to look away just as the shutter goes off. 

17. Personal space does not exist. 

18. And you don’t care about personal space when it comes to your best friend. 

19. They all think they’re lap dogs, no matter how small your lap is or how big they are. 

20. And best of all, the hugs and kisses never, ever stop! 

Another timely contribution (with some modifications) from our quarterly newsletter, courtesy of my friend, Mary Haack. Thank you, Mary! Wishing you a weekend of fun with your Velcro pooch.

Live, love, bark! <3

29 thoughts on “Velcro Dog

  1. Marty the Manx – I am a handsome Tortie Manx mix. I live with my brother Ralphie a Grey Tabby whom mom calls her "Grey Man". We also share our house with Mazie the big Yellow Lab, Abbe, Anne and Bree who are Chinese Crested Powder Puffs. We all live with our mom in Iowa in the United States.
    Marty the Manx says:

    Hi guys!!!! So sorry we have been MIA (again)! I thought I was reading about the entire Mob here HaH! I am attempting to type right now before I am off to work with Marty curled in my arms half on the key board, Abbe and Anne and Bree on my lap and legs, Ralphie on the couch behind me and Mazie on her bed right under my feet staring at me! Velcro MOB!!! I wouldn’t have it any other way I guess 🙂 Hope you have been enjoying married life and my favorite bouncing boy is doing well too!

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      We’ve missed you. Thanks for dropping by. It does sound like there’s Velcro galore around your crib. We are all doing great (and for the record, I didn’t get married, just happily living together 😉 )

      1. Marty the Manx – I am a handsome Tortie Manx mix. I live with my brother Ralphie a Grey Tabby whom mom calls her "Grey Man". We also share our house with Mazie the big Yellow Lab, Abbe, Anne and Bree who are Chinese Crested Powder Puffs. We all live with our mom in Iowa in the United States.
        Marty the Manx says:

        Ahhhhh, so much the better in my book 🙂

  2. Dakota/Caren/Cody – Michigan – Freelance writer, pet blogging professional, product influencer, half of the writing team behind Dakota's Den and "Cat Chat With Cody & Caren" Most importantly, I am a "pet mom" to Dakota, (Shetland Sheepdog) and Cody (my silver gray tabby!)
    Dakota/Caren/Cody says:

    love it and that is why I often say “Thank God for baby gates”…..(just with some of those things) 😉 DakotasDen

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      While I have two, I can’t bear seeing that “poor, pitiful, woe-is-me look” I see from the other side. 😉

  3. tippysmom2 – I adopted a puppy in 2013 and it has been an adventure ever since. My Facebook friends love her stories, so thought I would share with others as well.
    tippysmom2 says:

    Great post. Tippy is not a Velcro dog. She likes her personal space too. But, when she wants to cuddle, she’s great at it. She does usually follow me to the bathroom though.

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      What IS it about bathrooms?!

  4. Genevieve Petrillo – I'm a teacher-turned-writer - Author of Keep Your Ear on the Ball (Tilbury, 2007) and What If I Don't? (Meegenius, 2014). I love doing school visits and author talks. My stories, poetry, and teaching ideas have been seen in many teachers' and children's magazines. In my free time, I volunteer with Ocean County Volunteers for the Blind and TheraPet.
    Cupcake says:

    Mom says the word, “Get offa me!” a lot!

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      Sorry, Cupcake. I’m afraid I’m with your mom. 🙂

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      …and oh so true!

  5. Kismet – New River, Arizona. – I'm a 16 year old Indian Ringneck parrot curmudgeon in New River, Arizona in the wild west country. If you're a sunflower seed, you're dinner.
    Kismet says:

    I didn’t know that you could have a screw loose with velcro.

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      Apparently it’s possible. 😉

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      99.99% per of the time. That .01%…that’s probably when he’s chewing up an expensive wallet or something similar! 😉

  6. B Harmony – Wife, mother, former healthcare paraprofessional, loves chocolate enough to manage a chocolate shop, writer, a member of the Reluctant Renovators, Believer, twin, preacher's kid. Not necessarily in that order, and definitely not a complete list.
    B Harmony says:

    Relating. 🐾

  7. colinandray – S. Ontario, Canada – My profile photo is of Ray. Despite the fact that I had never had a dog in my life before him, and despite the fact that he carried more emotional baggage than I could ever imagine, he carved for himself a huge niche in my heart.
    colinandray says:

    I thought that I was reading about Ray! We went to a local pub the other day to ask when they were opening their patio this year, because they are literally the only place here where Carol and I can dine out… because they allow dogs on the patio! Ray will only currently allow one specific person to “sit him”, and she is not always available (and comes with a price). Velcro dog? Yup… sounds like Ray to me! 🙂

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      Haha, I totally see Ray as Velcro dog!

  8. My Golden Life – Upstate South Carolina – I love animals, especially dogs. I enjoy US history, and reading biographies of our former presidents and other historical figures. I love the music of the '60s and '70s since I was growing up in those decades. I love the Beatles and Andy Williams equally.
    My Golden Life says:

    Personal space? What’s that?? 🙂 I haven’t had any since Callie came home with us – as a seven-week-old golden fluff ball – nearly 12 years ago! And I wouldn’t change a thing!

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      Me neither, although a ‘free zone’ in the bathroom would be welcome. 😉

    1. oh and wonder why I’m up at 5 am? Cole can’t stop flapping his ears despite a prescription antihistamine at 10, and a benedryl 30 min ago. Pollen is ridiculous right now, but not in our bedroom…

      1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
        Tails Around the Ranch says:

        Oh no, so sorry the pollen grinch is bugging sweet Cole. Those ear flap sessions are maddening at night. ღ

    2. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      😉

  9. easyweimaraner – brittany – Weimaraner /Braque de Weimar, born in 2009, male & fabulous From: Britanny / France Likes: Plushtoy-Shredding, Spikebones,long distance Walks, everyday a Gift, Chicken, Shoes, Underwear, my squeekie Pig & my whole Life Dislikes: Water, Cats, Beaf, Cats, cleaning my Ears, Cats, the Vet, Cats, Snow & CATS! Profession: Student of psychological War-technics & Terrorism, after my Masterdegree i become to rule the world or maybe to be the owner of toys r us. actually i'm not sure... Status: Single Pets: Hell, NO! i prefer a petfree home. but owner of two slaves for my comfy Misc.: Greencardowner for Masterbed, Master of Beggin, Prince of Thiefs We decided to leave Easy's datas as they were... although we lost him in november 2016, he is still with us.... and his little brothers Phenny and Nelly promised to write on not as Easy the weim, but as easy Weimaraner... About us: Mr. Phoenix, born 9/9/2016 a virgo and always clever&smart...Neilson, born 7/28/2017 a leo who thinks he is clever&smart...
    easyweimaraner says:

    that’s a very familiar fact… and the highlight is when he tries to climb on my lap while I’m busy… :o)

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      It’s as though you have a permanent lap throw over your thighs with these big dogs. Even at this moment, Sam’s head on on my thigh which is the precursor to the left leg, then the right leg crawling across my lap. Oh that dog! 😉

  10. Stefano Padovan – Catalunya,Germany,Italy – stars,sky,telescope,universe,clouds,music,technology, mac-linux superlover,dackel lover with http://dackelsociety.com
    Stefano Padovan says:

    funny and….supertrue 🙂

    1. Tails Around the Ranch – Denver, CO – The inspiration behind this blog was one knuckleheaded Standard Poodle named Sam but is now inspired by a House Pony-Wilson. I'm Monika, the upright. Living in the Denver metro area, we post about dogs, rescue and nature. So grab your favorite beverage and be prepared to howl along with our adventures. And don't forget to bark your 'pup-tacular' comment; we'd love to hear from you.
      Tails Around the Ranch says:

      And neither of us would want it any different I suspect!

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