Dog Rules

We’ve all seen these rules posted on Pinterest, Facebook, etc., we’ve all uttered them, but mostly we’ve all wished “they’d” just live by them.  And yet, look what I came home to recently.  It was quite surprising that I didn’t even disturb ‘His Highness.”  Usually he comes bouncing toward the door like a pogo stick.  You think he’s comfortable?  I suppose I should be grateful; he hasn’t had any loud drunken parties with the neighborhood dogs yet…that I’m aware.

Lounge Lizard
Lounge Lizard

DOG RULES [with my thoughts]

1.  The dog is not allowed in the house.  [Ha, Sam is in the house ALL day long except when we’re on our walks or at the hospital]

2.  Ok, the dog is allowed in the house but only in certain rooms.  [As if that can ever be enforced]

3.  The dog is allowed in all rooms but has to stay off the furniture. [um, yeah…see photo]

4.  The dog can get up on the old furniture only.

5.  Fine, the dog is allowed on all furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with humans on the bed.  [I’ve had to resort to closing the bedroom door during the day lest Sam make himself comfy in the middle of the bed-I’ve seen the ‘nest’ as proof]

6.  Ok, the dog is allowed in the bed but only by invitation. [or open door]

7.  The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants but not under the covers. [thankfully I haven’t had this problem-though he is the biggest bed hog I’ve ever seen and ‘burritos’ me in when he does sleep on the bed-usually only on bath day-and that bugs the dickens out of me because I can’t stand being basically tied up in bed covers by the dead weight of a sleeping dog notwithstanding him smelling awesome]

8.  The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.

9.  The dog can sleep under the covers anytime.

10.  Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.  [I’m surprised we don’t have to ask for permission to sleep in the bed…period!]

Henceforth this shall be known as Dogs Rule, not Dog Rules.  😄