Full disclosure, this post is gonna be a rant-because I’m steamed, literally and figuratively. If you’re looking for unicorns, butterflies or glitter, you won’t find it here today.

Somebody flipped the switch. That switch going from lovely springtime temperatures to fiery hell at Mach speed. It was just 3 weeks ago that my furnace was still running for crying out loud! Fast forwarded to now and it’s Dante’s Inferno. WTH happened? Why couldn’t Mother Nature gradually e.a.s.e. into blissful Summer instead of going from a cool Spring (you may recall those of us in the 303 had a snow storm on Mother’s Day) to full on blazing heat shimmers? I realize folks in the South have blistering heat AND oppressive humidity (something that thankfully we get little of-ours is always joked as ‘…but it’s a dry heat’ as if when it’s hot as hell it matters). Yes, I also realize the Southwest is broiling with temperatures well above 100. Frankly, I don’t know how you guys do it. I’d evaporate away but not before I bitched like crazy about it. And try to walk a dog on black asphalt in temps like that and well, let me just say, I won’t walk barefooted out there so I definitely don’t expect Sam to either.

So I was waiting for the bus in the shade of a lamp pole a minuscule spot barely wide enough for a pigeon to take shelter from the blazing sun. I thought I’d have to fight a couple of them off for that prime real estate but luckily they acquiesced with no feathers shed. Naturally, the bus was late and in downtown Denver, a late bus is best described as ‘the pits.’ It usually means there was some accident along the route and traffic backs up. Between the concrete jungle and asphalt radiating intense heat right through your shoes and your head feeling like boiling oil was being poured on top of it as if you were in an episode from Game of Thrones, you almost can’t breathe it’s so stifling. It’s like walking into a 500 degree pizza oven without the yummy  mozzarella. This oppressive heat also makes for very cranky drivers sitting in their overheated cars in near gridlock. It took 3 light cycles for the bus to move less than 40 ft. to the bus stop. And whenever there is a baseball game downtown, well ‘fugetaboutit.’ In fact, sometimes I’ve been on a bus so long that I had forgotten where I was going in my sun-addled state.

I’m not the only one complaining about the heat. It seems to be THE topic of discussion on the elevator. On Tuesday the HVAC went out in our building and let me tell you, if you really want to cheese off lawyers, make them evacuate a building for a fire drill AND have the AC go out in the same day. 🙂 When the temps soared above 80 in their offices, many of them came out complaining and wondering why can’t the building can’t just ‘flip a switch’ to cool things off? Ex-actly!! Law degrees can be very powerful tools when fighting injustice but when it comes to the elements, they have no influence whatsoever and those degree holders are just like the rest of us schmoes…helpless and hot.

Hope wherever you are, you can flip the switch, stay cool and civilized. You’ll find Sam and me sitting beneath the AC vent cooling our jets till the monsoons arrive. 🙂

Live, love, bark! <3

[Post script to this post that was prescheduled for publication. After being in the 90s again, I left work Wednesday at 5 with 40+ mph driving rain/hail, downed trees, tornado and flash flood warnings. In the 3 blocks it took to dash to the bus stop, I become as soaked from head to toe as I have ever been in any storm (yeah, no umbrella with me today 🙁 though I’m not sure it would have helped since the wind was turning them inside out). Was going to post a selfie showing me sopping wet but it was just too pitiful to share. Think drowned rat but this is a good alternative.    My clothes, shoes, backpack, and I will be drying out and getting ready for the next opportunity to flip the switch. <3