Dear Old Man Winter,
Not to be disrespectful to an elder but…please go away. Your sweet sister, Spring was here earlier this week with her lovely sunshine and warm temps breathing new life into a tired brown landscape, waking up tender blooms and even more tired uprights and pups sick of your constant returns to remind us how much we despise your all-to-long-of-a presence. After 87 visits to us over the past 6 weeks, we beg you to go gently into the night though immediately would be better and leave us the hell alone until next year. And take that stupid groundhog with you. You are both on the short list right now. Him for toying with us saying we’d have an early Spring and you for repeated arrivals as an unannounced guest much like Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie from the movie, Christmas Vacation who drinks all the beer and generally makes the house look like a FEMA disaster zone. We’re done with both of you. We long for those 60 and 70 degree days with sunshine, blue skies, and soft breezes where she coaxed pretty tulips and perfectly scented lilacs to dazzle us. You, your snow mixed with a chilling rain and your lousy 30 degree temperatures with limited visibility can go away now and stop tormenting us. Please!
Signed,
Two tormented souls shivering in Denver, one of whom needs to pee badly and won’t do it in the chilly rain/snow nonsense you keep tossing at us.
Hope wherever you are that you are enjoying a real Spring that coincidently matches with the calendar.
Live, love, bark! <3