Hi there sports fans…Sam here. Mom is still trying to rejuvenate herself and asked me to do today’s post. She said something about having voter fatigue and that she just couldn’t take all the negativity anymore and that she had nothing. Then she said something about not coming out from the covers for the next 22 days. Not sure what all that means but think it might be something related to whenever she turns on the TV and starts hollering lots of HBO words. Said she can’t watch anything without some nasty ad or crap-tastic lie from the candidates and I KNOW she isn’t talking about the ‘Candy Dates’ from Blogville. Both Arty and Christmas are totally pawsome!
So I thought I’d make things a little lighter and easier on you and her. I know it’s late in the campaign, but to save this country, I’m tossing my furs in the ring for the 2016 presidential race. I have no baggage (it helps when you don’t have any thumbs) and there are no sex crimes or escapades in my history (ok, except for that Bassett Hound at dog prison but I was under duress missing my mom while she was gallivanting around The Big Island back in May and I doubt he’d want any negative publicity-we left captivity as BFF’s-best fur-iends furever). Luckily there are no videos of any alleged transgressions, and I can assure you I didn’t utter any ‘locker room banter.’ I’m true red, white and blue and would be honored to receive your vote. My platform is simple…I think every pet should have a loving home with uprights who will take care of them and love them completely…and treats. Lots and lots of treats. But not so many that we end up becoming obese, mind you. I support daily exercise, ear scratches, lots of naps and baths should be optional not mandatory. There are no conflicts with lobbyists regarding any of those issues either. For the record, I never received any speaking fee in case you’re wondering.
Please consider my platform and relax knowing I can return dignity and honor to the institution of the presidency and hope you’ll seriously vote for me as the candidate who can bring everyone together with loads of smiles all the while making you proud to be an American again.
Vote for Sam, a true ‘pawtriot!’
On an additional note, I want to wish mom’s ‘baby sister’ a Happy Birthday today.
May smiles and fun, joy and cheer, luck and happiness stay with you all next year.
Hope your birthday brings all these to your door
Filling your life with delight and much more. We love ya. Woof!
Live, love, bark! <3