It all changed in a heartbeat

Good dog.
Good dog

It started out like most hospital weekends…running a few errands early on and then getting ready for our shift. Every time we work at the hospital Sam has to be bathed. He’s professionally groomed every other month, but it was my turn this time. I’m pretty good at the in-between clean-ups and certainly think it’s easier on Sam since we can take breaks if necessary but it’s definitely not our favorite activity (oy my aching back).

It begins when the collar comes off. In the past, removing Sam’s collar always seemed to make him jump for joy at the thought of complete and unbridled freedom. Lately though, I think Sam has figured out that removal of the collar is a prelude to getting a bath, an adventure in which he’d rather not partake. I gather up the necessary stuff while he’s celebrating but think he’s on to me now. He used to be so excited at getting the collar off but now he seems to have figured out that it will involve being in a room where there’s running water and Sam avoids water like the plague. I grabbed a pile of towels…some for him as well as for the walls afterwards and the shampoo but he went MIA. I called and called but no Sam (cue cricket noises). Once I found him, he assumed the hang-dog posture as if he was being horribly abused and s-l-o-w-l-y made his way to the ‘liquid guillotine.’ Sheesh, talk about dramatic! Despite having webbed feet like all Standards (who were originally bred to hunt and retrieve waterfowl mind you), Sam despises water and has been known to completely walk around puddles on sidewalks. Lately though I think he might be harkening back to a previous life…one in which he had been an attorney specially trained in finding loopholes–in this case, an escape for himself.

My bathroom has one of those sprayer attachments but it’s just about 6” short of completely reaching the back-end of the tub easily.  Sam will reluctantly hop into the tub, with the “oh my God, I can’t believe you’re making me do this” look on his face. But lately his MO is to hop toward the back of the tub, with a ‘ha, ha, ha…the water can’t reach me’ smugness.  This forces me to get into the tub with him so I can keep him from hanging back just out of reach or from jumping out (which he did this time anyway).

As soon as I got him firmly positioned in the OSA (optimal spray area), I started the sudsing/rinse cycles. We go through lots of body shakings with water & suds flinging all over on the walls, window & ceiling so as soon as the dog is sparkly clean, I get to start mopping and cleaning up–oh joy. It’s a regular ritual which makes me often wonder if doing him at home is worth the effort of bathing and cleaning up rather than just going to a dog-wash. This time we tried out a new rosemary/mint-scented shampoo with built-in conditioner. Suffice to say, this stuff was ‘pawsome’ and I could hardly wait til he hopped in bed with me later that night. He smelled that good!

In addition to not liking water, Sam despises hair dryers too but he did remarkably well while being fluffed-n-buffed. He patiently endured a few swipes with the clippers and scissors and 90+ minutes later he emerged a sweet-smelling, handsome dude. We were ready, or so I thought.

It was a lovely Saturday and we excitedly left for our assignment. First we visited with several people with loads of little kids. Sam loves kids so it took us a while to finally get to see patients; they all want to touch and pet his soft hair. Many patients were being released and there were family members there to take them home. It can be kind of hectic for the staff but they manage it all really well.

One of the more memorable patients we visited was a young woman, Frances who had been in the hospital for a week but was being discharged that afternoon. Her Mom, Barbara was there to take her home. Frances fell in love with Sam since his fur reminded her of the two Bedlington Terriers they’d once owned. After both of them had passed away unexpectedly, her Dad couldn’t bear the thought having to say goodbye to another pet so they were now bereft of any dog companionship. Sam was spot on, letting everyone hug and pet him all the while staying incredibly calm and completely into it. After spending several minutes with him, they were both eager to work on Dad to get another pooch back into the household. I had to chuckle since they planned to use Sam as Exhibit A as he was so patient at allowing the daughter to weave her fingers through his fur, while he looked soulfully into her eyes and leaning against Mom. I was beyond proud of him and left smiling knowing they were determined enough to probably convince Dad to let them bring a new addition home soon. 🙂

Then it was off to hospice. Sam loves going to hospice-the staff is wonderful and there usually are a number of people we can visit. The first was a young woman visiting her uncle. She lived in Florida but had come back to support her Dad while he said a final goodbye to his brother, her uncle. She fawned over Sam and he responded sweetly. We had just started to make our way to the uncle’s room, when a man probably in his 50’s approached Sam and got down on the floor and hugged him. It was quite unusual since most adults that age don’t normally sit cross-legged on the floor and hug a dog while sniffling and drying their eyes in the middle of a corridor. The man talked to Sam as though no one were around. He said, “my Daddy is going to die soon and be with his dogs, so if Sam could come by room 214, it would mean a lot to my Daddy.” The niece was touched by this man’s display of bare emotion and said no worries since her family had decided against a visit.

As I walked toward 214, the nurse said the family was in the room and we probably shouldn’t go in. I mentioned the son had specifically asked for us just a moment ago and she said then she’d check with them and sure enough, they absolutely wanted Sam to come in the room. We walked in to see the whole family gathered in a circle around the patient’s bed, arm-in-arm holding onto one another. This was not what I anticipated since the son was full on sobbing now as were a few others.

At times like this, I’m not really sure what to do or say and think probably the best approach is to not say anything. It’s hard enough to know what to do with someone you actually know but even more difficult with a complete stranger. Sam seemed a little bit nervous but at the insistence of the son, we put his feet on the bed touching his father’s hand. Sam must have sensed something because he pulled back quickly but had managed to touch the man’s hand and arm. The son thanked us and I tried to be as supportive as possible with a smile and a squeeze on the son’s arm. We left the room quietly. As I walked out with the nurse, she thanked me for going in because it had meant so much to the family. I told her, “I don’t know how you do it day after day.” She smiled, said they did it for the families and I knew exactly what she meant.

As I was walking toward the exit, the attending doctor was doing paperwork and Sam expressed an interest in visiting her. He had walked past her when we first arrived so she was all too happy to snuggle with him. As we spoke, the nurse came in and said “call it 3:52 for Mr. Walsh.” The doctor smiled and said thank you to us for visiting. I knew there would be more paperwork for them to handle now. It was 3:55 and I realized that Sam had touched the man moments before he passed. Maybe he knew he was on his way to ‘see his dogs’ and it was ok for him to join them, maybe it was just coincidence. All I knew was that in a blink of an eye, the weekend went from smiles to tears. It left me feeling off-balance. There’s nothing that could have been done to change the outcome for Mr. Walsh, but just knowing Sam’s presence meant a lot to his family was somewhat comforting. In the hub-bub of the staff making the arrangements for transporting Mr. Walsh to the mortuary, I hugged Sam extra tightly. He responded like he always does, a serious tail wag and then a ‘let’s go look–there are others to comfort.’ We started to walk out and a small family was meeting with a social worker. They stopped to hug on Sam and thanked us for coming to hospice; it had meant a lot to them and their loved one. Sam acted as if they were the first people we’d seen that day and gave them his all.

We left shortly thereafter for home where Sam enjoyed a deep sleep as he is apt to do after a long or draining shift. We’d been there much longer than our usual visits and I could see it had affected this loving creature. While I watched his chest rise and fall with each breath, I sat and thought about all the memorable patients we’d visited that day. The smiles with Francis and her Mom at the thought of going home and the sad tears of loss by Mr. Walsh’s son. These human connections, the hello’s and goodbye’s bind us all together and are all inevitable. We can only hope they know that we wish them well on their journeys, whether here or in the next world.

<3

Sit, Stay, Heal

Sit Stay Heal Sit. Stay. Heal. My friend Sara sent me this graphic recently (thanks again, Ms. Sara!) and we both came to the conclusion that there just couldn’t be any 3 words more accurately describing pet therapy.

I recall last month’s visit with a family at hospice. The wife was the patient, her husband and daughter were visiting and I had a chance encounter with the daughter as we moved down the hallway. She begged me to stop by saying her Dad would just love Sam and if her Mom was awake, she’d love it, too.

“Of course, we’ll drop by,” I said, “we’re here for everyone, not just patients.” So after we made a couple stops along the way, we arrived at their room. Her Dad nearly picked Sam up with his hug. He practically squealed with joy at the sight of Sam and kept repeating over and over how sweet he was. I positioned Sam with his front paws on the bed so his wife could touch him. She remarked how soft he was (he reminds me of a dandelion…a real ‘fluff’ head both physically to the touch as well as brain-power wise). She was very weak and pale when we arrived and I could tell it was a real effort for her to reach toward Sam. Her husband continued fawning over Sam and Sam responded by leaning against his legs. My heart was breaking that this family bond would end soon but likewise glad that we were able to provide some comfort in the last moments for a lovely human and her family whose clear passion for animals was evident even as her life was ebbing away.

We chatted for a few more minutes and it was apparent that she was very weak but I noticed a tiny bit of color in her checks and a faint twinkle in her eyes. We had done our part. Studies show that petting a dog can release oxytocin, serotonin, and prolactin in the brain, improving mood and reducing pain, which can be especially useful at hospice. We came, we sat, we listened, and it appeared that she had a small moment of healing. Judging from the reaction of the family, I think that was pretty much on target.

As we were leaving hospice, I ran into the daughter again and she profusely thanked me for stopping by her Mom’s room; it had meant a lot to her, her Mom and Dad. I told her we’re there for everyone and always more than happy to visit, but this family with their obvious loving bond and graciousness, really moved me. I had the feeling an angel was smiling over them and would more than welcome her Mom when the time came.

The ending of life is complicated. There are the obvious regrets (we are human after all) but when visiting with this family, I got the distinct impression they knew their center, the core that kept them a loving family. It wasn’t something they had just decided on, it was a lifelong trait, a life clearly well-lived with grace and love.

Saying those final goodbyes can never be easy; there’s sadness and grief about the final goodbyes, but knowing that those left behind have a core value based on love and a certain positiveness has to be comforting…on both sides of the goodbye…the ones leaving and the ones remaining. True there will be grief and sadness, but there will also be genuine comfort knowing it all mattered even in the end.

For Sam and I, those types of encounters especially inspire and fuel us with the passion needed for our next Sit. Stay. Heal. session. <3

Peace and love.

And the beat goes on…

Way to go, Sam!
Way to go, Sam!

Over the weekend our pet therapy group with both volunteers and their dogs met for the annual award/potluck get-together.  When we visit patients, we’re work alone so it’s always great fun to see everyone together with their dogs, compare notes & hear about their experiences. There are some very talented dogs in our group and many of them have hundreds of visits, having been involved with the program for many years.

We began this odyssey last Spring so our total number of visits are puny by comparison to the seasoned pros in our program.  Granted I had a bad motor scooter accident two months after starting visits and was completely housebound until mid Autumn so our number of visits was rather low, yet it didn’t stop Sam from practicing on me while I recuperated for over 4 months. Although the injuries weren’t life threatening, they were fairly acute and resulted in surgery a couple of months after the accident to ‘crochet’ my shoulder back together.  Sam had just started the program in April but continued to perform the work he’s so well suited for during my recuperation.  He’d ‘check-in’ with me several times a day by laying his head on my leg and looking up at me with those soulful, amber eyes, tail furiously wagging with a “you need anything kind of look?” Without those daily check-ins, I’m not sure what I would have done to keep my sanity in tact and my spirits buoyed. As it was, all I really could do was watch TV and watch the world go by.  While TV can be somewhat entertaining, it isn’t exactly the best way to pass endless hours. Besides, if I had seen another episode of Cupcake Wars, I just might have lost it. To help pass the time, I began watching who-dun-it foreign films to at least keep my brain engaged with something a bit more stimulating. Turns out it’s a great way to learn other languages.  I can probably arrest anyone in Swedish, French, Italian and German now. 🙂

I only share this info about the accident to pay tribute to a newbie goof-ball therapy dog that despite being laid up for several months and unable to let him tend to others, he still worked, taking care of me.  Recalling those seemingly endless days of recuperation, I am filled with such gratitude knowing he helped me make it through long days and nights and can only hope that’s exactly what he does for those at the hospital.  If he’s even close to doing the same for others as he did for me, then I am beyond thrilled. He truly was a life saver of my spirits while I was incapacitated and in pain. He eagerly took that pain from me periodically through his sweet nature & perfect timing and made me smile several times a day for which I shall always be grateful for this marvelous fur-iend. Under his watchful eye, I was provided with time to not focus on my own health condition, but on his constant love and giving nature–a great recipe for the healing process.  I salute his 24 visits to people far more sick and injured than I was and know he’s made a difference at hospital/hospice and salute all the dogs and their uprights in our program for their work and commitment as well.

Sam and I are looking forward to more visits with patients, visitors, and staff and toward attending next year’s event but more importantly knowing we do make a difference…as the beat goes on in healthcare through pet therapy.

Congratulations to dogs and handlers everywhere for their dedication to programs all over the country.  Trust me, I know firsthand that it makes a big difference.  Well done, guys!

Sports and Social Skills

Manning fan
Manning fan

Anyone who knows me knows I love sports.  But when an introvert like me has to compete against the biggest sports team in town, that can be particularly daunting.  We had shifts over the weekend and as usual, Sam was spot-on.  For me though it’s awkward going into a room and striking up a conversation with strangers. I’ve never been good at small talk, that whole “cocktail party” chit-chat is just not me. If someone starts a conversation I can generally hold my own but I’m terrible at breaking the ice. Thankfully there’s Sam to the rescue and while it becomes repetitious asking about each patient’s pets, it’s always safe material and usually gets the ball rolling.

Most people will happily share stories about their dogs. A woman we saw told me about the multiple dogs she and her husband had on their ranch over the years. She told me about their quirky behaviors (I can definitely relate to quirky) and all their names. I laughed and marveled at those stories about their doing amazing work on the ranch over the years but particularly at some of their names. I mean seriously, “Simone” for a ranch dog? 🙂  But there was such a glow on her face when she spoke about them, and it was noticeable. She smiled vibrantly as if lit from within and you could tell it had a big impact on her overall psyche recalling them.  And it definitely made my day.

On Sunday we had to compete with a football game in addition to my social ineptitude.  The Denver Broncos are about as big as it gets in this town and nothing, and I do mean nothing interferes with this city’s love affair with their team, even at a hospital. The game against the Seattle Seahawks was on in most of the patient rooms as well as in waiting areas.  And this week was a HUGE game–a chance to regain some pride after the Super Bowl shellacking the Broncos took at the hands of Seattle earlier this year. This game was one that people were really excited about and who weren’t especially interested in having anyone interrupt their game (let alone by a socially awkward dog handler).  Oh sure, a couple of them were polite but in a few seconds it was pretty clear that visiting was pointless since they were completely hypnotized by seeing what #18 was doing (for the record #18 is Peyton Manning, a future Hall of Famer who is an absolute God in Bronco nation). Our presence was more than superfluous so the quick departure no doubt was more than appreciated. Hey no criticism here, I totally get that.  I’m a fan too.

Then we went to hospice hoping someone there might need us. We made the rounds to the few rooms that were occupied. I don’t recall a time when it was less filled over the past several months. That’s probably a good thing. It means families are together and whole, that fewer folks are suffering through those last days and while it makes a slow day for us in the therapy biz, I’m happy for them. I tried to engage a couple of families visiting loved ones, but they were all about the game and I know from experience you do not want to get between fans and their beloved Broncos even with awesome social skills, let alone someone with limits skills.

But down the last corridor, we stopped by a room where two women were dressed in bright orange Bronco jerseys and who were watching the game at the table next to the patient’s bed when I sheepishly asked if they’d like a visit with pet therapy fully expecting them to say “thanks, but no thanks.” Instead I was pleasantly surprised when they excitedly invited us in and then apologized that the 103 year old patient would likely be unresponsive. 103?!  Whoa, that’s impressive. The daughter said her mom had always been healthy until a couple of months ago when she suffered a stroke. While she had recovered from the stroke they discovered she had broken her femur (never a good injury in a young person let alone someone who’s 103) and she was clearly in a lot of pain. Though unconscious, she cried out a few times when we arrived. Sam immediately went over to check out the situation with her and then bee-lined it straight to her daughter. After the initial ‘sniff and greet,’ he moved next to her friend. She was thrilled with Sam and ‘oohed and awed’ over him. His tail was wagging and then abruptly he went back to the daughter’s side.

These friends looked as though they were having a tailgate party while visiting and I couldn’t help but notice the fabulous looking guacamole, chips and snacks. I felt like a trespasser yet they graciously chatted away sharing family stories and talking about how sweet Sam was and what a terrific service he provided. They commented about how ”mother would have love him because all her life she had loved dogs.” I felt melancholy initially but soon realized they were celebrating her life the way she actually lived it, on her own terms. It filled me with joy and sadness at the same time–joy at a life well lived as well as sadness that it would soon be over. It was apparent by Sam’s behavior that the daughter really needed him and he stuck to her like glue. First he sat at her feet while she spoke and petted him. He hung on her every word.  Then he laid down next to her, the sign that means ‘we’re gonna be here for a while as I let this person process whatever they are going through.’ It was a stunning afternoon with a couple of really neat women who needed Sam in that special way only he can provide. There was little need for me to worry about starting conversations, or to try to fill that awkward silence when you meet someone and don’t know what to say next.  It was a beautiful and chance encounter on a gorgeous Bronco Sunday. I’m honored and humbled to have been able to spend time with those women. Just like the woman over at the hospital, they gave me a great gift and I can only hope and pray that Sam returned the favor by soothing their hearts even if just for a bit.

So until our next hospital visit…go Broncos!

It was one of THOSE days

Walk with me Grasshopper [Master Po]
Walk with me Grasshopper
[Master Po]
Ever have one of those days?  Sure, we all have them but how you perceive them makes all the difference in the world. It’s usually some stupid little thing that sends our minds into chaos. Remember the 1970’s series Kung Fu where David Carradine was able to master his mind and calm everything down? Well, I should have remembered some of those episodes, it might have helped us both out.

This past weekend was our regular rotation at hospital and hospice. Saturday we were scheduled for oncology. It’s always an intense session for both of us. Patients are so sick, their families are worried and a hardworking staff usually has their hands full. Everyone seems a little bit on edge. I get that and know that with Sam’s usual calming presence we usually manage the shift well.

It wasn’t that we were running behind, in fact, we were fairly early. The problem was my fault; I didn’t cope well and it may well have affected Sam.  Maybe it was barometric pressure.  It was one of those rain-threatening days with hail in the forecast. We’ve had some real doosies of hail storms recently so I thought; “heck we’re early, let’s park at the farthest point away in the parking lot under a very large cottonwood tree that would easily protect my little set of wheels.” My car isn’t super special, but it’s cute, dependable and in very good shape. It’s kind of important to me to want to keep it a nice, cute, dependable vehicle. So far so good, right?

That’s when everything went to crap. Unbeknownst to what was just ahead, we sauntered into the volunteer area to sign in. As soon as I got us all signed in, I realized Sam was missing his ID tag. Phooey. Having lost my own badge several weeks ago (still think it fell off somewhere in the parking lot but it was never turned in to Lost & Found), I wasn’t feeling like I wanted to go through the replacement process and expense again. Hey, no sweat, we’ve got plenty of time I thought, we’ll just go back out to the parking lot and see if it fell off in the lot since I had attached it to his collar when we got out of the car. About this same time, I also realized my car keys are missing. Ugh!

Part of my uniform consists of a handy apron with pockets across the front and a smock/lab coat also with pockets. Since volunteers don’t have lockers, all these pockets are especially useful to stash the items we need during our visits—Sam’s business cards that are given to patients, a small hand sanitizer, small notepad with enough room for a few dog treats–stuff like that. The coat has two decent sized pockets where I can stash my wallet and (on good days) my keys.  So I empty all the apron pockets and check my pant pockets as well. Dang it, no keys. Then I empty the pockets of the smock. Again, no keys. Rats! So I do the only thing I can think of, go trundling back out and check the car and guess what…it starts to rain (I am not making this up).

Sam really despises getting wet and I wasn’t all that keen on looking like Little Orphan Annie with curls up to here. We dash to that far end of the lot (remember that good idea I had earlier?) and I look in the passenger side to see if the keys are in the ignition. No dice. Ah, crap! The good news is I spot the missing ID tag and secure it on to Sam’s collar. We head back toward the sign-in area because I’m convinced that I probably just set the keys down next to the sign-in computer.  No biggie.  Ha!

Once back in, I fluff Sam and myself up a bit so we don’t look like drowned rats. So far, not so bad. But alas, no keys either. Oh man, really?!…I decide to go back out and see if maybe the keys fell next to the seat or maybe I set them down in the back seat when Sam got out and I hooked up his leash. Well, at least it’s not raining now but I’m starting to get stressed. Muttering and kvetching, I notice Sam is panting hard and not just from walking back and forth like crazy. He’s picking up on my energy.  Oh no!

So back out in the parking lot, I walk all around the car and what do I see? The blankety-blank keys sitting ‘purdy as a picture’…in the door lock! Argh, are you freaking kidding me??!! Now we are running behind and we rush back inside. Sam is definitely stressed. He freaks out in the elevator and seems completely at odds with his normal calm “I’m ready to go to work” persona. I’m upset and feel out of step myself. This is not good.

Before we begin a shift, we always swing by the gift shop and say hi to the volunteer high school students that generally man the shop on weekends. Sam loves these kids and they always enjoy a visit with him before we head up to our assigned floor. It’s a good way to begin a shift and it brightens their day.  He’s totally disinterested and out of balance so we leave and head on up hoping it’ll get better (sorry kids, we’ll be more friendly the next time…promise!). The oncology floor can be intense and kind of crazy. Saturday the stars were totally aligned but not in a good way.

The first room we stopped by was on full tilt alarm. The patient was stressed and tired and no doubt probably sick of that annoying beep, beep, beeping noise so we didn’t stay long. I offered to bring someone in to turn the alarm off. Sam was restless and disinterested in visiting, that confounded alarm wouldn’t shut up and it seemed like it took forever for the nurse to come silence it. Everything seemed frenzied (or at least in my mind it was–it’s all in perception, right Grasshopper?). We left and moved on to patient number two. Another squawking alarm (what are the odds?). Ugh. The patient’s visitor asked if I could get someone to turn it off, they said it had been trilling away for the past 10 minutes. Oh dear.  I’ve never seen or heard so many alarms going off on a floor.  Sam actually hesitated and then balked at going into the next room. And so it was the entire shift. In the rooms he would go in, he’d be restless, panting, not fully engaged. By then I was no longer stressing about my misplacing the stupid keys, but about him but I wasn’t in the best place to guide him back to balance (breathe, Grasshopper).

Recent research has shown examples of dogs and their amazing ability to ‘smell’ cancer. The results suggest they are quite good at it too. I couldn’t help wondering if some of those scents were part of Sam’s distress or was I totally to blame. Granted, I’m sure he picked up on my negative energy but I couldn’t help but wonder if his super sensitive nose was picking up on those patients’ condition, all the equipment alarms and the stressed out staff. It was a perfect storm of everything converging. Maybe it was just an off kilter alignment of the stars.  Whatever it was, it all started out with something stupid and minor and turned into ‘one of those days.”

Thankfully Sunday was better; we went to hospice and Sam was more balanced. We visited with some really nice people who told funny stories of their family’s experiences with dogs (I learned a lot about Dalmations–oh my!). There was a greater level of calm though it was still a teeny smidge off from our usual shifts at hospice. I guess perception is everything, and when it’s bad as it had been the previous day, it surely impacted us and maybe even carried over to Sunday. Next time I’ll be better prepared so it’s a good visit for patients as well as a good experience for Sam. They all deserve that.  <3

Did you do anything fun on the first weekend of summer? Do dish on how you handle ‘one of those days.’

Doctors vs. Nurses

Is it just me or are most doctors too busy or too important to be friendly toward volunteers? Nurses and staff often times come running down the hallway just to say hi and catch a snuggle from Sam.  I have yet to see a doctor make eye contact let alone say hello or smile with the single exception of one doctor who also owns a Standard Poodle. And she thinks Sam is a bit on the chubby side because you can’t see bones sticking out (but that’s a post for another day rant). What IS it about professionals? I mean I know doctors are busy saving lives, being heroes and all, but would it hurt a brother to crack a smile? I may just be a volunteer but sheesh, really?

It kind of reminds me of my day job at a large law firm. Our lawyers are really busy advocating for their clients.  They need to be because time is money in a large firm.  They do however tend to look right through the staff like they had X-Ray vision. If a fellow colleague walks by though, they sashay up and start chewing the fat like they’re long lost BFF’s. Granted, I didn’t go to law or medical school but is the common courtesy of a simple smile too much to ask?

Still this weekend when we are visiting patients around hospital and hospice, Sam and I will still happily walk around smiling & saying hello to everyone we see-patients, aloof doctors, adoring nurses and all the other staff. We <3 them all…even the ones that look right past us. Lawyers on the other hand…well, I mean it’s not like they’re saving lives now, are they? 😄