2018 Resolutions

Because mom was so preoccupied with multiple trips to see my grandma during her multi-week hospitalization, Elsa and I decided to take matters into our paws on the resolution front. Sam here. Mom doesn’t generally do resolutions thinking they usually aren’t kept for long and are a waste of time. We, on the other hand, are all about resolutions because we know we can keep them. Too bad mom doesn’t have enough discipline like us brilliant poodles.

Knowing that mom worked in the legal field for 87 years, we thought we’d codify our resolutions in a nice legal-beagle kind of way. That way she’ll be sure to understand where we’re coming from, right? Here are our resolutions for 2018.

Sam’s 2018 Resolutions

I, Yosemite Sam, chief knucklehead at the Ranch (the “Knucklehead”) do hereby swear, affirm and warrant to keep the following resolutions as they relate to making life interesting for our mom (the “Upright”). Therefor…

RESOLUTION 1

BE IT RESOLVED, Knucklehead resolves to continue his bad leash manners, especially during the winter months. This means I reaffirm to wrap the leash behind her legs as soon as she prepares to clean up after me on all walks at every opportunity and to poop in the deepest possible pile of snow presuming we ever get any;

RESOLUTION 2

BE IT RESOLVED, Knucklehead agrees to continue to stretch the leash as far away as possible from Upright’s bad shoulder by splaying toes for better balance and digging in with strong legs. Knucklehead further resolves to resist any leash correction while sniffing on walks;

RESOLUTION 3

BE IT RESOLVED, as a male who must show dominance at all times, Knucklehead affirms he will continue to hover over his sister whenever she tries to pee on the off-chance said Knucklehead might get away with peeing on her; and finally

RESOLUTION 4

BE IT RESOLVED, Knucklehead, in accordance with the terms of the Poodle Doctrine, affirms and resolves to abandon all previous training with respect to leash pulling during all sniffing sessions. There will be no loose leash walking for said Knucklehead in those areas where there is no sidewalk to safely walk. Said Knucklehead plays a mean game of chicken and is not a wuss and is clever enough to try to walk in front of cars because it freaks out Upright despite knowing said Upright repeatedly threatens to rip off head of Knucklehead when he moves too far away from Upright’s side.

Subscribed and sworn to this 16th day of January, 2018.

   Yosemite Sam 🐾                           

Elsa’s 2018 Resolutions

I, Elsa, Fearless Ninja at the Ranch (the “Ninja”) do hereby swear, affirm and warrant to keep the following resolutions as they relate to making life interesting for our mom (the “Upright”). Therefor…

RESOLUTION 1

BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja will continue to be a scrappy girl whenever a runner approaches us, especially when said runner is running with a dog and will always keep Upright guessing as to how I will react when encountering another dog on any walk;

RESOLUTION 2

BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja will continue to look for non-edible edibles, i.e. reading glasses and items from the pantry shelves and reminds Upright to make allowances as Ninja was a puppy mill dog for years and doesn’t know better.

RESOLUTION 3

BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja will take every opportunity to cross leashes and always walk behind Upright’s back on walks because it makes Upright grumble with HBO words while getting twisted up; and finally

RESOLUTION 4

BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja affirms and warrants she will continue to be a twirling dervish as Upright attempts to hitch up the harness for walks. Ninja knows Upright enjoys it given all of her giggling which seems to encourage Ninja’s tail wagging and weaving through legs.

Subscribed and sworn to this 16th day of January, 2018.

   Elsa, the Fearless Ninja 🐾                

Did you or your pup make any resolutions for 2018?

[Mom here with a comment. Now I know why Lady Justice is blind; she had poodles too.] On the plus side, they always manage to resolve to be adorable and sweet without trying.

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

 

72 thoughts on “2018 Resolutions

  1. I might have to show this to my hounds. Right now, confined to the house because of Portia’s illness, they are sticking to the resolution of driving me crazy. Just because they know they can get away with anything at the moment.

  2. Those are good resolutions! I’d love to see your gang on a walk! 😀

    I have resolved to be as delightful as ever and continue with my selective hearing!

  3. Haha! That was funny & cute… I love the fact that they both even included their signatures in the “contract”… 😉 I have to admit that I am pretty much like Monika when It comes to resolutions… Love & best wishes for 2018 and beyond <3 🙂

  4. Oh guys, have you been reading my mind???!!! I am SO with you on all of these! Though I prefer to wrap the dropped leash around Ma’s ankles while she’s getting her coat on…she always asks if I’m ‘trying to kill her?’…heheheeee Anyhu, I thinks I would add somethings about barking too…I likes to bark at Ma…it seems to be the only way to gets her to listen to my every want and need! ☺
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

    1. Oooh, the ole leash wrap! We are HUGE fans of that one. Mom thinks it’s a good thing we aren’t very talkative although sometimes I wonder if she’s listening to us much anyway. LOL
      Your fur-iends,
      Sam & Elsa 🐾

  5. Interesting resolutions there Sam, however, I always think of New Year Resolutions as a “To Do List” for January. Where Benji and I walk there are no pavements ( sidewalks in your world) so we have to walk on the road towards the on-coming traffic. Benji is good and walks by my side although from time to time he splays his front paws and refuses to move until the sniffing in that area is completed. Sometimes he randomly changes sides to confuse me, but he is good.
    Actually, is’s quite boring and I envy your mom in having two thoughtful characters like you and the Ninja to keep her on her toes.

  6. awful lot of continuing going on here puppies. I like #3 in both sets. Milo says, add a third poodle for half the price, and he doesn’t pee on anyone but himself. And he does that even if he lifts a leg! Now that’s a stupid dog trick.

  7. Now these sound like resolutions which would be easy to keep – those are the sort of human resolutions I need (things like, “be it resolved that, should there be any cake batter left in the mixer, said batter should not be wasted and should be consumed as quickly as possible, lest its presence in the home be noticed by anyone else who might attempt to eat it.”)

  8. Haha, those are some mighty good resolutions. We didn’t make any as M never makes any. Well maybe I have one: to always sit for yummies because they are always worth it. Benji.

  9. Well, it sounds like your Mom is going to have quite an interesting year! We just hope your Upright manages to stay upright through all of that. BOL!

  10. Before next Jan. 1, someone needs to educate the pups that resolutions are supposed to be to make their lives better. Oh, wait, I guess I was thinking of making your life better. Never mind.
    Pee S. Lexi used to walk under Riley’s leg on walks when he stopped to pee. Our golden shower girl always got a clear shower when we got home. (Things bloggers never knew about my girl…)

  11. That is quite a list Sam and Elsa. Good luck and it’s ok to break one or two resolutions especially the one having to do with flirting with cars! BTW LOL at the reference to HBO words…. No resos out here at the Golden K. The last one I made was 30 years ago and I’ve kept it all this time. That was to never make a New Years resolution again so I’m with your mom on that one.

    1. It’s amazing Michael. He will walk close next to me on sidewalks but when we run out of walk, he stretches as far away as he can. #Knucklehead No doubt the neighbors think I’m a ex-sailor by my salty words. 😊

  12. Thank you for providing me with lots of chuckles. I could visualize all those resolutions working out in slow motion. (I’ve been there many many times.)

    1. Happy to provide smiles. The Knuckleheads are the real comedians, I just provide the kibble. And thanks for swinging by the Ranch. We ❤︎ visitors. And if you’ve ‘been there’ then you know the expression…misery loves company. 😊

  13. Mew mew mew Sam an Elsa you made us laff an mee-yow out loud! Furabuluss Resolutionss.
    Mine iss to continue to hide mee ‘eeny teeny’ spring an other vareuss toyss frum LadyMum (thee Uppyrite) to help her xercise an generallee drive her crazy!
    LadyMum told mee shee has 2 Resolutons: 1) to not panick over efurry littul fing that happenss that usuallee makess her panick an 2) not get all hissy when mee hidess mee toys…..(wish her luck on #2, mew mew mew….}
    ***Hi-5’sss*** Siddhartha Henry =^,.^=

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