Because mom was so preoccupied with multiple trips to see my grandma during her multi-week hospitalization, Elsa and I decided to take matters into our paws on the resolution front. Sam here. Mom doesn’t generally do resolutions thinking they usually aren’t kept for long and are a waste of time. We, on the other hand, are all about resolutions because we know we can keep them. Too bad mom doesn’t have enough discipline like us brilliant poodles.
Knowing that mom worked in the legal field for 87 years, we thought we’d codify our resolutions in a nice legal-beagle kind of way. That way she’ll be sure to understand where we’re coming from, right? Here are our resolutions for 2018.
Sam’s 2018 Resolutions
I, Yosemite Sam, chief knucklehead at the Ranch (the “Knucklehead”) do hereby swear, affirm and warrant to keep the following resolutions as they relate to making life interesting for our mom (the “Upright”). Therefor…
BE IT RESOLVED, Knucklehead resolves to continue his bad leash manners, especially during the winter months. This means I reaffirm to wrap the leash behind her legs as soon as she prepares to clean up after me on all walks at every opportunity and to poop in the deepest possible pile of snow presuming we ever get any;
BE IT RESOLVED, Knucklehead agrees to continue to stretch the leash as far away as possible from Upright’s bad shoulder by splaying toes for better balance and digging in with strong legs. Knucklehead further resolves to resist any leash correction while sniffing on walks;
BE IT RESOLVED, as a male who must show dominance at all times, Knucklehead affirms he will continue to hover over his sister whenever she tries to pee on the off-chance said Knucklehead might get away with peeing on her; and finally
BE IT RESOLVED, Knucklehead, in accordance with the terms of the Poodle Doctrine, affirms and resolves to abandon all previous training with respect to leash pulling during all sniffing sessions. There will be no loose leash walking for said Knucklehead in those areas where there is no sidewalk to safely walk. Said Knucklehead plays a mean game of chicken and is not a wuss and is clever enough to try to walk in front of cars because it freaks out Upright despite knowing said Upright repeatedly threatens to rip off head of Knucklehead when he moves too far away from Upright’s side.
Subscribed and sworn to this 16th day of January, 2018.
Yosemite Sam 🐾
Elsa’s 2018 Resolutions
I, Elsa, Fearless Ninja at the Ranch (the “Ninja”) do hereby swear, affirm and warrant to keep the following resolutions as they relate to making life interesting for our mom (the “Upright”). Therefor…
BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja will continue to be a scrappy girl whenever a runner approaches us, especially when said runner is running with a dog and will always keep Upright guessing as to how I will react when encountering another dog on any walk;
BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja will continue to look for non-edible edibles, i.e. reading glasses and items from the pantry shelves and reminds Upright to make allowances as Ninja was a puppy mill dog for years and doesn’t know better.
BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja will take every opportunity to cross leashes and always walk behind Upright’s back on walks because it makes Upright grumble with HBO words while getting twisted up; and finally
BE IT RESOLVED, Ninja affirms and warrants she will continue to be a twirling dervish as Upright attempts to hitch up the harness for walks. Ninja knows Upright enjoys it given all of her giggling which seems to encourage Ninja’s tail wagging and weaving through legs.
Subscribed and sworn to this 16th day of January, 2018.
Elsa, the Fearless Ninja 🐾
Did you or your pup make any resolutions for 2018?
[Mom here with a comment. Now I know why Lady Justice is blind; she had poodles too.] On the plus side, they always manage to resolve to be adorable and sweet without trying.
Live, love, bark! ❤︎
72 thoughts on “2018 Resolutions”
Wagnificient resolutions Elsa & Sam!
3 bum swings! 3 more! 💜
Q & I have resolved to work huMom for more treats more often 😉
All good wishes in fulfilling your resolution. 💜☺️💜
hahaha great resolutions!
And for these hounds…very easy to keep. 😉
I might have to show this to my hounds. Right now, confined to the house because of Portia’s illness, they are sticking to the resolution of driving me crazy. Just because they know they can get away with anything at the moment.
How she’s doing? I’m of the belief dogs collude on a regular basis.
love these resolutions!! I certainly will be checking back in sometime in June to see how far you got with them pups!!
Haha…it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. We’ll have no trouble keeping our end of them on track!
Sam & Elsa 🐾
Those are good resolutions! I’d love to see your gang on a walk! 😀
I have resolved to be as delightful as ever and continue with my selective hearing!
Outstanding! You do us dogs proud, Clowie.
Well, if they keep their resolutions as well as most uprights do, you will soon have two very well behaved dogs!
They are far better at keeping resolutions than uprights. Dang, I wish I had that kind of commitment especially when resolving to rid oneself of Christmas bulge! 😆
Haha! That was funny & cute… I love the fact that they both even included their signatures in the “contract”… 😉 I have to admit that I am pretty much like Monika when It comes to resolutions… Love & best wishes for 2018 and beyond <3 🙂
Thank you. He’s wishing you all the best 2018 has to offer. 🎉
Oh guys, have you been reading my mind???!!! I am SO with you on all of these! Though I prefer to wrap the dropped leash around Ma’s ankles while she’s getting her coat on…she always asks if I’m ‘trying to kill her?’…heheheeee Anyhu, I thinks I would add somethings about barking too…I likes to bark at Ma…it seems to be the only way to gets her to listen to my every want and need! ☺
Oooh, the ole leash wrap! We are HUGE fans of that one. Mom thinks it’s a good thing we aren’t very talkative although sometimes I wonder if she’s listening to us much anyway. LOL
Sam & Elsa 🐾
Interesting resolutions there Sam, however, I always think of New Year Resolutions as a “To Do List” for January. Where Benji and I walk there are no pavements ( sidewalks in your world) so we have to walk on the road towards the on-coming traffic. Benji is good and walks by my side although from time to time he splays his front paws and refuses to move until the sniffing in that area is completed. Sometimes he randomly changes sides to confuse me, but he is good.
Actually, is’s quite boring and I envy your mom in having two thoughtful characters like you and the Ninja to keep her on her toes.
Yeah, sometimes mum doesn’t know just how well we treat her. 😆
Sam & Elsa 🐾
awful lot of continuing going on here puppies. I like #3 in both sets. Milo says, add a third poodle for half the price, and he doesn’t pee on anyone but himself. And he does that even if he lifts a leg! Now that’s a stupid dog trick.
I can’t begin to imagine how Milo manages to accomplish that. 😂
well, you can observe his technique in person, in smell-a-vision
Looking forward to seeing it in person.
Are these resolutions or statements of intentions to inflict trouble?!! ;p
the critters in the cottage xo
Haha. Something like that!
Lying under oath, again. Why not? Everyone in Washington DC does it.
Walks must be so fun. . .
A total riot most days, especially in winter when you have the added complication of gloves 😁
Now these sound like resolutions which would be easy to keep – those are the sort of human resolutions I need (things like, “be it resolved that, should there be any cake batter left in the mixer, said batter should not be wasted and should be consumed as quickly as possible, lest its presence in the home be noticed by anyone else who might attempt to eat it.”)
I was going to reply with something similar. If we were to make resolutions like these, I think they would all be kept! LOL
Easy peasy for sure.
Cake batter resolutions…oh yeah…count me in!
Haha, those are some mighty good resolutions. We didn’t make any as M never makes any. Well maybe I have one: to always sit for yummies because they are always worth it. Benji.
That’s always a good one to keep. We just hope mom resolves to ‘make more treats.’
That would be ideal but I think I will keep my bet on the “store treats”. Benji
Heh, heh. I know just what you mean. Mums never bake enough for us pooches.
Sam & Elsa 🐾
Sounds like it will be another fun year for your upright 😉
The fun never stops with these two! Kind of like with your two kitties. 😊
Well, it sounds like your Mom is going to have quite an interesting year! We just hope your Upright manages to stay upright through all of that. BOL!
So does she! Life is always interesting around these two goofballs but I wouldn’t have it any other way. 😁
Before next Jan. 1, someone needs to educate the pups that resolutions are supposed to be to make their lives better. Oh, wait, I guess I was thinking of making your life better. Never mind.
Pee S. Lexi used to walk under Riley’s leg on walks when he stopped to pee. Our golden shower girl always got a clear shower when we got home. (Things bloggers never knew about my girl…)
LOL, dogs have such a ‘way’ about fluid elimination, don’t they? 😄
Are you sure these two aren’t in office in the US already…?
Bwahaha! Good question, though I think their IQ is far greater than any one currently there. 🤣
Agreed, and their honesty level too perhaps–
Precisely. Dogs never lie. Even the NYT and the Washington Post would no doubt agree to that!
My cats certainly tell it like it is and there is no arguing.
Oh yeah…with cats, it’s a whole different ball of yard. 😇
Yikes, looks like both Sam and Elsa need to work on their walking etiquette! 😀
Among other things. 😁
There’s a whole nuance to ‘elimination’ with respect to males and females. Hopefully I’ll have that post soon.
Those are great resolutions,xx Speedy
those sound like some pretty darned good resolutions to us!!
If only my rotator cuff thought so! LOL
We love your resolutions and they seem very doable!
They do seem more like habits than resolutions, don’t they? 😄
Sounds like a rip roaring year! 🙂
My shoulder sure is thinking that! LOL
That is quite a list Sam and Elsa. Good luck and it’s ok to break one or two resolutions especially the one having to do with flirting with cars! BTW LOL at the reference to HBO words…. No resos out here at the Golden K. The last one I made was 30 years ago and I’ve kept it all this time. That was to never make a New Years resolution again so I’m with your mom on that one.
It’s amazing Michael. He will walk close next to me on sidewalks but when we run out of walk, he stretches as far away as he can. #Knucklehead No doubt the neighbors think I’m a ex-sailor by my salty words. 😊
They bring out the best in us don’t they? 🙂
And then some. 😎
Thank you for providing me with lots of chuckles. I could visualize all those resolutions working out in slow motion. (I’ve been there many many times.)
Happy to provide smiles. The Knuckleheads are the real comedians, I just provide the kibble. And thanks for swinging by the Ranch. We ❤︎ visitors. And if you’ve ‘been there’ then you know the expression…misery loves company. 😊
Mew mew mew Sam an Elsa you made us laff an mee-yow out loud! Furabuluss Resolutionss.
Mine iss to continue to hide mee ‘eeny teeny’ spring an other vareuss toyss frum LadyMum (thee Uppyrite) to help her xercise an generallee drive her crazy!
LadyMum told mee shee has 2 Resolutons: 1) to not panick over efurry littul fing that happenss that usuallee makess her panick an 2) not get all hissy when mee hidess mee toys…..(wish her luck on #2, mew mew mew….}
***Hi-5’sss*** Siddhartha Henry =^,.^=
Those are some pawsome resolutions for both of you. We think you’ll accomplish your 2nd one easy-peasy.
Sam & Elsa 🐾
Guess who freeked out today when mee hid mee wiggly spring Sam an Elsa??? Mew mew mew….16 dayss iss a new record! 😉
Snorts with piggy laughter. Those are awesome resolutions. I made some… to eat more FOOD! XOXO – Bacon
Good for you, Bacon. I wonder why we didn’t think of that one? My Ninja sister would normally be all over that. 😁
Brilliant, we made copies and firm resolves to follow these.
Misty the alpha Poodle and my minions
Misty, sounds like you may have some legal-beagle in you too! ☺️
sam resolution 2 is my goal too…. we have a leash with a rubber part so I can stretch the leash and the nerves of the humans to the max ;O)))
Nerves stretch, just not bad shoulders. 🤣