Do you remember those brilliant Looney Tunes cartoons featuring Sylvester J. Pussycat Sr. and his son, Sylvester Jr. who would say “Oh father, the shame of it all” whenever Sr. did something embarrassing or humiliating in the eyes of Jr.? I’ve always loved those cartoons and would use that same expression when recalling some of the things my kids would do as they were growing up and which totally would embarrass me. You know the kind, those cringe-worthy moments especially around the holidays that make you want to run and hide until February and not face those not often seen relatives after some ‘little’ person made some astute observation you wished they hadn’t?
I could tell stories about my kids as they grew up but since they are now adults suffice to say like all kids, they managed on occasion to make me want to become invisible with some of their life observations. You know exactly what I’m talking about…one of those ‘kids say the darndest things’ moments when you absolutely needed them to be on their best behavior, but no, instead what you get is…BAM, the sweet innocence of childhood spurting out of their mouths like a gumball machine dispensing goodies. Now that they are grown up and have children of their own, paybacks are the reward which allows me to stay silent about sharing any of those stories. 🙂
But I digress. The embarrassment I suffered was from this past weekend’s hospital visits with Sam. I found an adorable scarf that seemed appropriate and with his new ‘do fresh from the groomers, off we went to spread Christmas cheer at the hospital. I especially wanted to be supportive to folks who find themselves in the hospital during the holidays and a spread a little cheer around. I wasn’t counting on Sam and that troublesome proboscis of his!
We stopped by the pulmonary unit and the first visitors we saw came up to us and gushed over Sam, his good looks and festive scarf. Sam immediately stuck that big-ass honking nose right in the lady’s crotch (in his defense, it was “right there at nose level” though at this point, I’m rather loath to defend this crotch sniffer). Yikes, dude, what are you doing?! She laughed nervously and gently pushed Sam’s face away from her lady parts. Not content with just female scents, Sam casually walked over to her companion and gave the fellow his Christmas goose a few days early. Eek, so sorry folks! Uh, we need to move on now. Have a Merry Christmas (spoken in the fastest voice possible). Sheesh.
Completely embarrassed I walked down the hallway and past one of the first rooms we could actually enter. The patient’s visitor motioned us to come inside so we went in to try to spread a little Christmas joy (and for me to try to regroup). Sam looked so festive and everyone we encountered commented on his handsome haircut and adorable holiday collar. They asked if Sam could put his feet up on the bed and can you believe it, Sam immediately went to sniff her private parts as she was lying on top of her sheets and wearing a short hospital gown. ‘Things’ were a bit too available for his nose but she was a good sport about it. I, on the other hand was thinking…“OMG, what in the bloody hell is wrong with this dog today and what’s with this crotch obsession????”
I tried hard to get him to focus on the patients all day long but maybe because I was the bozo who left the training treats on the kitchen counter, all I could do is give subtle yanks and keep him on a very short leash. By now, my face is so beet red to the point one of the nurses asked if I was feeling ok. The flu was making the rounds at the hospital and many rooms were off-limits for us, thankfully. Just what I need more crotches to sniff and check out, as well as being exposed to the flu? Argh!
Some days are like that in pet therapy, for whatever reason, but I swear that nose is going to embarrass me and make me go back to saying “Oh, Father…the shame of it.” Does your dog embarrass you? What kind of embarrassing things does he do to make you red-faced? <3
9 thoughts on ““Oh, Father…the shame of it all””
No words. Just laughing. Great read this New Year’s Day!!!
Oh yes, I have had those days with Mazie and with Mom’s little guy Jessie who jumps in someone’s lap and then just sticks his whole head in their crotch!
Perhaps it’s just Sam’s way of spreading holiday cheer! 🙂 Lulu has a backside obsession—dogs and humans alike—which is only slightly less offensive than frontside, yet equally awkward. (You know, WHEN she isn’t mortifying me with her malicious attack mode!)
The crotch sniff – I’m pretty sure that goes up with the ‘humping of things’ as about as embarrassing as dogs get!
Uh…yup, can’t argue that one! BOL
As I know well – particularly with regard to guests. Choppy: teaching me humility/grace in situations I never thought I would be in.
Oh sure, when Sam sniffs ladies’ crotches it’s just a cute doggy thing but when I do it they throw me out of the hospital. Life is so unfair.
I can feel your embarrassment all the way down here[?]
I have that days too, that my nose does things what are embarrassing. The most people laugh, except my dad who got a “low blow” from my head … he called me a doofus as he could breath again :o)