Things that go bump in the night

Ok, picture this. It’s the middle of the night and the call of nature wakes you up. More like screams its ugly head off, but you still resist. The crisp autumn air is a definite deterrent so you roll over and think, it’ll go away soon. Twenty minutes later, your bladder continues to send messages to your brain to get up and take care of this. You’re wide awake now so you succumb to your brain’s nagging and drag your sorry butt out of bed…shivering. You quietly tiptoe past the snoring fur-kids, quietly closing the bedroom door so as not to disturb anyone, walking toward the bathroom. Then you step on one of these babies. O.U.C.H. Ever step on one of these gizmos of pure torture? We kick or walk over these things 87 times a day. Elsa drags them from one end of the house to the other and I love that both fur-kids enjoy these beef hooves, but yikes, those bad boys will make you howl like a banshee if you step on them with bare feet when you’re somewhat half asleep.

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Suddenly you’re hoping around on one foot, yelling every HBO word you’ve ever heard, kicking those hummers every which way and the racket of all that yelling combined with skittering hooves across hardwood floors crashing into walls and furniture has woken up the entire household up with you asking everyone, “Who the [blank] left these things lying around?!?!” The sleepy faces facing you just nod, mumble and shuffle back to bed. You’re left wide awake with the you-know-what scared out of you, blood pouring from a toe and too mad to pee. Why is there no justice for mom? Would I be less crabbish if I stepped on a squeaking stuffie in the middle of the night? Yeah probably not, but at least I wouldn’t have to triage my injury before getting back to sleep in the freezing dark.

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Note to self: think about getting one of those IED robots to clear these “land mines” out  before you going to bed to avoid this far too often repeated scenario.

Hope your re-entry into the work week was far less traumatic and you had a great night’s sleep following a beautiful Autumn weekend.

Live, love, bark! ❤

38 thoughts on “Things that go bump in the night

  1. My Golden Life

    I used to step on those damn things all the time. Until one night when a young Callie woke me up needing to go outside.

    I pulled on a pair of jeans and flip-flops, and the flashlight, and out we went. We barely got out the door when Callie barfed all over the dirt in front of the gate. Upon closer investigation, I found about six pieces of the hoof she’d been chewing on earlier that evening. When she was ready to come back inside, I sat with her for a while to be sure she felt better before coming back to bed. She jumped up on the bed and slept next to me the rest of the night. In the morning, I threw the rest of the hooves in the garbage bin outside and never bought another one. From then on, I’ve let them chew on Nylabones. And they get picked up and moved out of the way before we go to bed.

    I hope your poor toe has healed by now!

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  2. Jodi

    I sympathize with you regarding the screaming bladder and cool autumn air. Mostly my guys do not drag toys about, but I do have to ‘feel’ my way out of the bedroom to make sure I don’t step on one of the DOGS!

    Poor toe, I hope you were able to get back to sleep.

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  3. Dakota/Caren/Cody

    I am so sorry but I HAD to laugh!! Cody has this damned treat dispenser that wobbles. We keep it in the kitchen and I cannot begin to tell you how many times I trip over it and nearly break my ankle! It isn’t sharp like what you posted, but it is a major hazard!! One of these days I am going to wipe out for sure! What we do for our fur babies, I’ll tell ya!

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  4. Michael Morales

    Pretty funny and all to true Monika. As an aging baby boomer male I’m up at least once and usually twice a night to, um, take care of business. In each trip to the business meeting room I have to step over sleeping pups and try not to wake them up. It’s a little different than what you describe but none the less having to step lightly in the “wee” hours of the night.

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  5. M. K. Clinton

    OUCH! I have stepped on one before and it is not fun. The boys (Bentley) doesn’t share chews so to avoid Grumpelstiltskin, we don’t have chews lying around anymore. ☺ I aways try to sneak into the bathroom or else they both need to pee too. BOL!

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  6. Jen

    Ouch! That would hurt!

    I tripped over Sherman last night as I was heading to bed. He was NOT laying where he normally lays at night and I went flying across the room and landed on my knees. Woke everyone up in the house except for Sherman.

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    1. Tails Around the Ranch Post author

      Yipes! Hope you’re ok. When you’re half asleep it’s even worse when you fall. I’m thinking of putting fluorescent stripes on Elsa since she’s a Ninja and black. I swear that girl is gonna kill me yet! 😉

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  7. Nylabluesmum

    I am sorry for laughing so hard Monika!!!! I have done this over the years with various cat toys & thought some of my injuries painful. I can see from your post I had NOTHING to complain about!!! I hope your foot is on the mend; you finally got to pee & you got some much deserved sleep!
    (((hugs))) Sherri-Ellen an **nose rubsss** Siddhartha Henry xxxx

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  8. Amy

    I hope your foot is feeling better, Monika. I used to step on my boys’ toys when they were little. If you don’t want to turn on the light, shuffling instead of stepping helps. 🙂

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  9. Piglove

    Oh snorts and oinks!! I can so picture that scenario in my piggy mind in the middle of the night. It’s bad enough here that mom/dad step all over our cushy toys in the middle of the night – let alone something so harsh. I’m sure HBO would be so proud of your mom – snorts!! XOXO – Bacon
    PS Happy Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Helen Devries

    I too need a robot: the dogs have the soup bones and always leave them all over the house. The worst is that when I stand on one and scream its ‘owner’ rushes from its cosy bed to recuperate its treasure before it goes in the bin. Why couldn’t it take it to bed in the first place…?

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  11. lapaylor

    they like them for the same reason I don’t like them… smelly, scratchy, pointy. It’s like stepping on a leggo block. Yikes!
    I can just see 6 blinking eyes looking at you in the dark. (why’s Mom/monika playing with those this time of night!?)

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. edgar62

    Same here – stuffies are all the go. However, you have my sincere sympathy because I can imagine that stand on one of these is probably more painful that standing on a Lego block, and that’s painful enough. At the risk of falling foul of the HBO, have you ever thought of keeping a small torch (flashlight to you) next to your bed.I do.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Tails Around the Ranch Post author

      I have one but the light wakes the dogs and then they think it’s playtime for the next hour and a half. I try to stealth out and normally do well at it, but not when the little miss moves the land mines around. *Sigh*

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