Boy this past weekend sure was a cluster weather wise, wasn’t it? Hope everyone is safe and warm now. Yesterday was very windy and melted most of our 6″ of snow and the temps were more than decently warm for January.
Seems like juggling is now my newest winter hobby, because a girl just can’t have enough hobbies, right? No, I’m not talking about juggling balls, more like juggling pet and people and assembling their clothing. Originally I was going to call this post “Dressed for Success” because of how I have to bundle me and two dogs up for our walks during cold weather. Then I thought, “Hmm, can I really claim success” when clearly I suck at it?!
When it’s bitter cold, it’s probably best to dress in layers, right? I figured layers would keep me sufficiently warm. And I was right. But half way through even a shortened walk, I started to feel like I was about to ignite, it’s so hot. Notice the dogs’ coats and the Michelin Man puffy coat. I’m also wearing a sweater and fleece pants, lined Sorrel boots, hat, mittens and sunglasses for the glare. All those needs to be put on inside the house. On the days when snow boots are put on the dogs, you can add at least another 20 minutes trying to cover 8 paws before leaving. Mittens are the final go-to item to put on once outside to be able to lock the door when I leave and by now I’m already starting to overheat after dressing the dogs (“could you please hold still while I buckle all these straps?”), pulling the boots on, zipping the coat and making sure there are plenty of poop bags on board. Mittens are a blessing for keeping normally cold hands a bit more toasty, I rationalize. There’s just one problem with mittens.
What ‘cha doing back there, mom?
How in the bloody-blue-blazes do you hold two leashes, keep the dogs going in the same direction, maintain your balance on an icy sidewalk and then try to pull out a waste bag with mittens? I mean, it’s all I can do to get the darn things on, and the second one is pulled up with my teeth and now I have to remove one in order to pull the bag out, and try to open it up. Meanwhile the Ninja has spotted a squirrel and is laser focused on that, all the while trying to stretch as close as possible to said squirrel and as far away from me as possible. Think drawn and quartered. Now that Sam has squeezed out a ‘deposit,’ he wants to get away from the steaming pile ASAP, which translates into “let’s wrap the leash around mom’s legs, behind her.”
Can anyone explain to me how to separate the ends of the bags so you can easily open them? Is there some secret trick? Even in the best of winter weather, it’s like trying to tear sheet metal apart. I’ve even tried tearing them off in advance, opening and separating the ends and putting them in my pocket of the jacket which normally results in enough static electricity being generated to re-glue them back together again or the bag surreptitiously slides out of the pocket leaving me back at square one with a mittened hand that needs to be pulled off and somehow separate those closed ends in order to pick up the poop.
By now I’m wigged out, sweating like a pig, all the while trying to corral the dogs without being knocked over, bending over the deepest spot of snow Sam could find, while securely holding on to both leashes, the bag, and now a fat mitten. And just for giggles, the hat has slid down over my eyes. How am I supposed to reposition the hat with those stupid mittens on? Could it possibly get any better?
So yeah, dressing for success in the winter time during cold spells isn’t exactly my story. Mittens, smittens. Blech! Juggling is apparently my new hobby this winter.
How do you ‘dress for success?’ Do you have challenges with waste bags?
Life, love, bark! <3