Monday Moanings

Thief, thief…I’ve been robbed…again!

No, the hoodlum neighborhood gang of squirrels didn’t break in the kitchen window. Remember how I waxed on about the Ninja a few days ago on her terrific socialization progress was going? Fast forward a few days and now I can safely say I have a juvenile delinquent.

So the story goes like this: We were running low on dog food. No problem, I can swing by the pet food store and pick up a bag. Nothing unusual there, right? While running around I thought, I’ll swing by the grocery store too since, well, we were out of EVERYTHING. Again no problem on its surface. Let me set the scene. It was one of the many days the weather was in the mid-90’s and traffic was the pits. I finally got home, a total hot mess and sweating like stuffed pig. After carrying in several grocery bags and the dog food in the house, I thought I’d take 5 to hydrate with some iced lemonade. The dogs greeted me like they always do, I sat down and began sipping the beverage and life returned to normal. Or did it? All of a sudden I realize I’m missing a dog. Cue the spooky music.

So I go into the kitchen and see the Ninja with her head deep in that shopping bag and notice the box of croissants is semi-open with one minor detail. Only two of the buttery delectables out of a dozen remained. I took the box out and put it on the floor to re-create the crime scene since I couldn’t open the cellphone fast enough to catch the actual proof. But I did capture where she was licking up errant crumbs from the floor.

WTH, Elsa?! Those weren’t quite the actual words I said out loud (think creatively) for which this face stared back at me.


As if it was no big deal. Well, I guess a girl’s gotta have her pastries, I know I sure enjoy them at breakfast. I chuckled and just chocked it up to yet one more thing on the ever-growing list of things this dog has eaten and didn’t think much else about it.

The next day I was preparing dinner, I pulled this out of the oven piping hot and turned around to grab the pizza slicer and looked back to see that thieving little brat on her two hind legs standing with her front paws on the stove (something she has NEVER done since her hips are a tad wonky and always assumed it’s uncomfortable to jump up) taking a bite out of the edge. 

I hollered at her and she scurried out of the kitchen and then quick as a wink, Sam reaches up to try the same thing! Are you freaking kidding me? “Dude, you are supposed to be teaching her how to be a dog, not some waif-like pickpocket character from Oliver Twist!” *Ugh*


While Standard Poodles originated in Germany, I think my little urchin appears to be identifying more with the commonly thought of origination country, France for which I don’t blame her. But 10 croissants in a lightning quick moment? Dang girl! Maybe she is a distant relative of our favorite French fur-iend, Phenny and channelling her heritage?

Bottom line…I think we need to schedule a refresher training session for Sam and as far as Elsa goes, I don’t even know where to begin. Looks like someone needs a summer job to stay outa juvenile detention and maybe a DNA test to put pedigree to rest.

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

106 thoughts on “Monday Moanings

  1. Monika and Co, I’ved read your post and the banter of comments going back and forth. I gather dogs have been designed for food scarcity rather than abundance. Well, that’s my feeble attempt at trying to understand why my dogs hoover up the smallest crumb from the kitchen plate. I guess they take that old rule of “not leaving anything on your plate”, to extremes. The behaviour has stayed the same, despite the abundance. Lady eats and eats and eats and has become rather portly. Now, that she doesn’t have Bilbo to hide behind, her bulging waistline has become quite obvious.
    xx Ro

    1. Elsa seems to take that ‘Hoovering’ a tad too seriously. This morning she ate a brand new sock (number 4 by my count) while I was in the bathroom. Just after her breakfast. #ohthatdog

    2. My alternate theory is that dogs don’t really have that much to do. Food is not only food, it’s entertainment. Even people eat when they get bored and I think our dogs are bored a lot more than we realize. We ARE their lives, so when we’re busy doing other things, they basically just wait. Food is something to do. Something for which they can hunt. And sometimes, it even tastes good!

  2. BOL!
    3 bum swings! 3 more!

    You humans, don’t you know you can’t leave food unattended?!
    How are we suppose to know it’s not for the taking 😉
    Seriously though, my huMom bought GG our pot bellied pig bro a dozen donuts; he doesn’t get them very often but occasionally he gets to pig out. While huMom was not looking someone went into the back of the vehicle & snorted up all but 2. What, he got 2.

    Nose nudges,
    CEO Olivia

  3. Oh dear. Well, who can resist a buttery croissant? Luke is our resident opportunist and breaking him of it seems impossible. Instead the humans have to learn to be more diligent. Not too long ago, he got two cooked chicken breasts. I was putting them away and something made me run outside for a minute. Before I got back in I heard snarling and growling…figured they were fighting over a ball or something (they’re all bluster with no actual fighting). Nope…it was the chicken. I don’t even know who got how much, but I’m actually just relieved an all out fight didn’t break out over it!

  4. ooo lalala elsa… how’d your tummy feel? Even french girls go easy on the croissants.

  5. Elsa, Elsa, Elsa. Do you have any idea how many carbs you consumed? All at once? Girls like us have to watch our figures. 😉 But about that whole jumping up to taste the pizza thing? You go, girl! If the goal is right, we can work past our wonky hips. Way to keep your mom on her toes and drag Sam down to your level. 🙂

    1. Trust me, the way she chases after potential squirrels, she worked them all off. She took off after a cat yesterday very early in the morning and had a rocking good time. Me, not so much, I wasn’t exactly dressed appropriated for running after a dog down the street. Little toad! Maybe she’s trying to help me lose my extra calories. 😉

  6. Clearly she’s starving to death! 😉 Your tale reminds me when, shortly after adopting D’Art, I had a bag of fast food, which I left unattended for 30 seconds and In that time he stole a burger, unwrapped it from the paper, and swallowed it whole! Leaving the wrapper as evidence! Poodles can be fast when they want to! I hope your little ninja didn’t have too much of a tummy ache after her smorgasbord.

    1. Surprisingly, no digestive issues (you know poodles and their tummy issues). She seems to relish the croissants for some reason, I went back to the store and got replacements and she stared at me the whole time during breakfast and Hoover-ed up a large flake that fell on the floor. Funny, hungry-hippo girl!

  7. I couldn’t help but laugh! You can’t really blame Elsa, I mean come on, they are buttery CROISSANTS! Bentley will steal pizza right in front of me with no shame at all!

    1. The girl does have good taste in what she noshes on! And yeah…I laughed a little myself especially since she cleaned up EVERY single crumb. Guess she didn’t want to let any of that buttery goodness go to waste. 😇

  8. BOL!!!! OMD, that is soooo funny!!!!! Um…I means….ELSA! WTD??! You should have eaten ALL DOZEN gurl! hehehehe Nows, seriously, Ma does the same thing! She brings all the bags into the garage and sets them down, and then does ‘other stuff’ and SOMETIMES I manage to open the inside garage door and snuffle what’s inside the bags! One time I gots a bag of buns! Nows, Ma caught me before I even ate too many, butts what I got sure was good! NOT as good as tasty pastries, butts almost! Nows, I haven’t gotten any pizza YET! Don’t worry though, I am waiting for the right time to make my move…..
    Ruby ♥

  9. BOL sounds like having a teenager in the house. always on the prowl for food.
    the only bags we leave on the floor are the canned goods because lily loves bread products esp. bagels. very limited special treats are a skinny slice of pizza or half a bagel.

  10. This is one of those “Im glad my dog isn’t big enough to reach the counter” posts…although I know Arty would do the same thing if he could ;-)!

  11. BOL!!!! I can’t tell you how much I loved reading this post!!! I’m too short to reach up on the counter to grab any delicious paws barely reach the edge of the counter! My neck is too short to reach over the coffee table, my sneaky humom puts her food RIGHT in the MIDDLE of the table because she knows I can’t reach! I will just have to live vicariously through you guys! Good work Elsa and Sam!!! hee hee!

      1. Shame the dogs can’t hoover up all their shedded fur as efficiently as the crumbs. They’d put my hoover out of business.

  12. OMD! Ms. Monika, I have a confession to make. I did that to Mom and Dad once. They put the bags on the floor and I took out a loaf of fresh Italian Bread and ate sooooooo much of it. Mom was SUPER upset and I was SUPER itchy after (it was worth it, though)! *ear licks*

        1. Correct. Cheese seems to be the top filch foodable although they are big fans of fruit and veggies, particularly Elsa. Sam wouldn’t have eaten a veggie or fruit bit to save his soul before she moved in.

  13. Hilarious!!! Hence the reason we have the kitchen blocked with a babygate. I am such a mean Mama! I didn’t want a Sheltie firework going off in the kitchen. Our kitchen is so small and Dakota’s fur is sooo long that I was afraid if he were allowed in there, his fur would somehow touch the oven and BOOM!!! (Yeah, I know I am paranoid) BOL!!

    1. My kitchen is the size of a nickel and galley styled to boot so invariably there’s one, often 2 dogs, laying in front of dishwasher, sink or oven. I’m getting kind of good dodging bodies, but counter surfers…well that’s another story. 🙂

  14. Oh, the counter surfing! The dog we had growing up once ate an entire batch of fresh chocolate chip cookies my mom had made (not enough chocolate to hurt him). And Choppy has been known to get caught with her nose in counter food on occasion. But our true worry when it comes to counter surfing is Schooner – he’ll take a bite out of anything, just to check it out. He’s definitely the delinquent around here!

  15. Callie was my counter surfer/food thief. Shadow just stayed on all fours waiting for whatever her sister shared with her. I used to have to put meat on top of the fridge to thaw just to be sure Callie couldn’t reach it. I always had one eye out for her; but of course the dog-daddy would feed them all tidbits from the counter, the table, and the snack trays, insisting “that little bit won’t hurt them any”. Duh! No, if it WERE only “that little bit” it wouldn’t; but “that little bit” several times a day, 7 days a week accounted for several stains on the carpet. And even the vet’s gentle admonitions didn’t put an end to it. UNTIL one day when Ducky immediately brought up some “little bit” that didn’t agree with her. He’s not doing it as much any more – because I watch like a hawk – but I do allow little treats now and then.

    1. I got in trouble with the vet too when Bilbo put on weight. Then, I realized just how much food he was getting. My kids were poor eaters so he’d get their left over breakfast, lunch and dinner. He knew to well what a lunchbox was too. He got put on a diet and you should seen his face when I didn’t give him tidbits. He looked totally rejected: “Mummy, you don’t love me anymore!!!!” Those puppy dog eyes sure know how to manipulate you and grab you by the heartstrings. We’re putty in their paws.

      1. My OES Puck used to eat everyone’s bowl so I had to limit access and put Sam’s bowl up if he didn’t eat everything-no more free grazing. It took a while of smaller portions with a high grade dog food and she eventually lost the weight. Obesity is the greatest threat to dogs’ wellness these days with all sorts of consequences. Once I realized that, I stopped feeling badly at those hungry looking eyes. 🐶

  16. My current crop of cats doesn’t like people food except for Morgan and the occasional potato chip. She only licks it but doesn’t eat it. However several cats ago I had one that was a regular Houdini when it came to food. I had a dozen donuts on the back of the counter. While I was at work, she had a party and ate the whole dozen. Then there is my Mom’s cat who routinely stole drumsticks or pork chops when no one was looking. Never saw it happen but the bones were always by her food dishes. Hard to get mad at the critters for their creativeness although it can make you crazy.

      1. Newest cat Gracie came from a hoarding situation. For the first two months she was a dumpster diving, shredding our garbage can looking for food several times every day. One day she hit the jackpot and there was a pork chop bone. I chased her throughout the house trying to get that bone from her. She was not happy. Cats don’t eat bones but she would gnaw any bits of meat or fat left. Fortunately as she was fed regularly she gave up that habit (or maybe it was finding mostly vegetable peels that did it).

  17. Oh no! I guess Elsa was just wanting to see what you brought home, and, of course, it had to all be for her. Right?! What was all the ruckus about? I am surprised that she didn’t get burned from the pizza, but glad that she didn’t. Isn’t it interesting how bad behavior seems to be contagious, but good behavior isn’t?

  18. Ho I learned that lesson a long time – no matter how hot and tired, I carry the bags in for Annabell and put them up on the bench. I don’t have ( never had) big dogs, so they can’t reach the bench. Mind you if these noses had a serious vacuum type function, then we probably would be in trouble

  19. Annie is a stealthy thief as well. She’s been known to sneak down to the kitchen in the middle of the night just to see if there might be anything she can grab (she has found a few treasures). I’m still amazed because her hips
    are not all that strong but where there’s a will there’s a way!

      1. I think it is pretty common, especially for those who didn’t have regular feedings. Annie is a scavenger and LOVES everything she finds! Maisie stands back and watches with a look that says “she’s doing again, stop her!”

  20. I’ll take it for a compliment that she pciked the french food first ;o) … and don’t furget to make a french leave after you grabbed some human -food ;o)
    btw: as we came home yesterday I saw that the two cheese sandwiches disappeared from our show bag… not easy to find the culprit, I have more than 700 suspects :o)

  21. The only thing that surprises me is that Elsa didn’t burn her mouth. DNA test not needed, she’s part of the common breed, “food hound.” 🙂

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