Poodle Rules ~ A Dialogue

 If you’ve followed us for any length of time (and thank you very much by the way) you know I grouse about share examples of how the Knuckleheads tend to interpret the rules they know all too well. Here’s our latest conversation.

Mom: So guys, after our latest walk, I thought we should (once) again review the Ranch’s Poodle Rules about certain behavior on our walks.

Sam: Oh dog…here. she. goes. again.

Elsa: H…u…h?

Mom: You know how it cheeses my toast when you guys pull on our walks, especially when Sam pulls on my rotator cuff injured shoulder when he is bound and determined wants to sniff something.

Sam: Hey, I gotta life AND a social media presence. I’m just checking out my InstaPaw feed.

Elsa: I don’t know what you’re talking about; I’m a model citizen when it comes to walking.

Mom: Umm…Elsa…you kind of get a bit reactive around some dogs.

Elsa: I’m just letting the neighborhood know I’m no shrinking violet. I am a Ninja!!

Mom: Yes, but I never said you were supposed to be so ‘spirited‘ when a dog comes to say hello. We all know you’re a Ninja and could easily whip them with one paw tied behind your tail if need be.

Elsa:[ blushing with pride] Yeah I am one tough chick, aren’t I?

Mom:  Please remember you’re supposed to behave yourself, not act like Cujo.

Elsa: Well sometimes, I just get caught up in the moment. What about Sam?

Sam: [Looking up and yawning] What do you mean, “what about Sam?” I never rumble. I’m a lover, not a fighter.

Elsa: But you almost always use my potty break catching up on pee mails as an opportunity to go in the opposite direction, pulling mom from limb to limb as if you think it’s the Spanish Inquisition again. That and trying to pee on me.

Sam: Au contraire, my little sister. I am simply proofreading your messages. You need a lot of help with punctuation. Do you not understand the difference between a comma and a semi-colon?

Mom: Enough! It’s called “we’re going for a walk,” not we’re going to pee on sisters or suddenly dash in the opposite direction of each other. Got it?

Sam and Elsa: [In 2 part harmony] Whatev.

Mom: Lost this debate again, haven’t I?

Sam & Elsa: [Harmonizing but somewhat sarcastically] Oh mom, you know we live to serve, {snickering under their breaths}.

Mom: Sigh. Well how about I leave the magic pocket chock-full of the tasty treats I bring for pawsitive training purposes at home? How you like them apples, Knuckleheads?

Sam & Elsa: [shrieking in unison]! Ok, ok…we’ll be better. Paws crossed. We’ll try real hard, mom, honest.

Mom: Good. I’m so glad we had this discussion. Was that so hard?

Sam turning to Elsa:  You know we’re doing our usual thing, right?

Elsa: Damn straight, bro. We’re poodles, not debaters. And we rule. Period.

Sam: I knew you’d see it my way.

Elsa: Dont push your luck, Dude. I still hate it when you hover practically on top of me when I pee. Give a girl some peeing breathing room.

Do the pets in your house follow the rules or do they rule the house?

Live, love, bark 🐾

83 thoughts on “Poodle Rules ~ A Dialogue

      1. NylabluesMum

        HAHAHA!! Understood Monika…I used to be a Professional nanny & I had infinite patience. That was many many years ago!
        Now I have limited patience. Siddhartha Henry follows the motto: ‘Bad attention is better than NO attention.’ Seriously!!!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      1. NylabluesMum

        Oh yeah I was utterly impressed! NOT! So I learned to put any fresh folded laundry in the closet….
        And as for following the rules Siddhartha Henry knows them & still manages to break almost everyone of them daily. I am no more ruler here than I was when I was owned by dogs!!! HAHA!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. LP

    Yup. Walking two large dogs (Wilhelmina and Avalon) and a third who is scrambling underfoot, can be quite the challenge! Our humom understands completely 🙂 Do you use a leash that fits around the waist? Hunter, a German company, makes a good one. Our humom couldn’t walk us all together without it!

    the critters in the cottage xo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Tails Around the Ranch Post author

      I have been tethering Sam around my waist for the past couple of weeks. He’s kinda cheesed since I have a lot more ballast than his pulling. LOL But I’ll check out one made specifically to wear around your waist. Thanks for the recommendation.

      Like

      Reply
  2. My Golden Life

    Sweet Shadow has always been a good girl. Though, when Callie was still with us, Shadow was more than happy to be her cohort/partner in crime. Those two were seemingly attached from shoulders to hip. Ducky, OTH, is still a bit challenging at times and seems to think the rules only apply to her when it’s convenient. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Jodi Stone

    At least twice per walk I ask to not have my arm dislocated. One of the reasons they are walked separately is because I can’t have two of them pulling me in different directions. Sigh. Good luck with it friend, I suspect you’re on the losing end of this one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  4. NylabluesMum

    Oh Monika I never really understood why you call the Poodles “Knuckleheads”. I apologize. I now totally understand!!! I can see Sam in my mind’s eye crowding poor Elsa & almost peeing on her….
    And them pulling in opposite directions; you have a lot of patience!
    Now to discuss the ‘house rules’ at Thee Purrfect Pad……………………………………………………
    What rules? I make them; Siddhartha Henry breaks them & I just wave a white flag of surrender. **sighs**
    What would we do w/out our 4 leggeds???
    {{{hugs}}} Sherri-Ellen

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. NylabluesMum

        If it is any consolation I had a Shepherd/Husky cross named Bogart Sam…..he was lovely & completely CRAZY!!!! And he made my head spin on a daily basis! What a character he was…..something about dogs named ‘SAM’!!!! 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Rowena

    Hi Monika,
    Great post! I can relate to some of this although Zac and Rosie pull so hard on the lead that there’s barely a chance to observe anything else. I don’t think they pee, sniff or anything. They’re off.
    Unfortunately, two of the kittens I mentioned yesterday didn’t make it and mother cat as taken the third one elsewhere. The whole experience seems a bit surreal now.
    By the way, I found another dog blog I thought you’d like: https://www.retirementreflections.com/
    Hope you’re having a great week!
    xx Ro

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      1. Rowena

        Thanks, Monika. The kittens were a disappointment. It was such a strange chapter too, but we hadn’t really got to know them so it wasn’t as hard as it might’ve been. Nature can be quite brutal, can’t it.
        Hope you’re having a great week.
        Best wishes,
        Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Jan K

    Follow the rules…ha ha….do people really have dogs that do that?? If I only had a nickel for every time I’ve said “this is supposed to be a WALK”, or “Leave it” for the 8th million pile of deer poop I’ve tried to maneuver Luke past (to no avail)!

    Liked by 2 people

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  7. M. K. Clinton

    Have your two been watching my boys on their walks? It sounds like the exact same behavior we deal with. Poor Bentley has had his head pee’d on more than once and they ALWAYS go in two different directions. BOL! We are just well-trained by our dogs, am I right?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Comedy Plus

    You can have discussions, set rules, lay down the law, threaten and a million other things, but nothing will change. Tomorrows walk will be just the same as today’s walk. It’s how poodles roll.

    Have a woof woof day. My best to your mom. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. carathediabeticwonderdog

    Sounds familiar, except you forgot my favorite–crossing arround behind me to wrap leashes. I currently have 4 dogs and 4 fosters, I can walk 2 or take 3 to the dog park, it’s a never ending job. Mine are relatively good, the fosters are not so good–I can’t blame them, some have never been on a formal walk, or even worn a collar.
    My rule in walks is, after the initial 100 yards, WE ARE NOT STOPPING EVERY 5 FEET. My poor mini poodle loves people, and drifts towards them as we pass. Out of the 100+ people we have passed, only 2 have stopped to pet her. She is devastated, and keeps asking me what she is doing wrong

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. The OP Pack

    We think we have had that same conversation here quite often too. Misty and Timber think that every single peep we meet along the way HAS to pay attention to them. If not, then they want to pull Mom toward them to let them know they forgot to pet them:) Lightning is the puller – IF he spots a bike. He so wants to go the opposite direction:)

    Woos – Lightning, Misty, and Timber

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. Kate Crimmins

    My cats suggest trying to trade them in for cats. (It’s their stock advice when talking about dogs.) You won’t have a bad shoulder but they still get their revenge! And no, you won’t be in any more control than you are now.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  12. lapaylor

    yes, Milo’s perfect.

    Bwaaahahahahahaha
    He’s pulling me like a mule team mostly, unaware I’m being dragged. Bunnies are the worst for darting at. Or blowing away plastic bags.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Tails Around the Ranch Post author

      Squirrels are triggers for Elsa. She s.l.o.w.l.y. approaches the bunnies and as we get closer she’s ready to spring into action. They are of course waaaay ahead of her and exit quickly. Pee-mail is what makes Sam tick. An especially delish scent can make that boy stop (or pull) on a dime.

      Like

      Reply
  13. Piglove

    Oh snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. I love your conversations my sweet friends. What a meeting that was! And here at the Hotel Thompson – snorts – us anipals make the rules. Mom/dad just abide by them. HAHAHAH! XOXO – Bacon

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. edgar62

    I have to confess that Benji is very good and would follow rules – if we had any – which we don’t. From time to time he will take off to some blade of grass that he feels he just has to give his attention to. He is not so much the 10 foot dog these days as I think he is getting used to the district. But walking him is fair. I have no complaints

    Liked by 1 person

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