We should have known better

And yet…mom remains ever hopeful. Elsa here. Mom made some toys for me a couple of months ago to add to my pile of stuffies and chewies. She had hoped that by having a variety I’d be less inclined to destroy destuff them.

Second one in 3 days

She’s starting to think the rescue group was completely off base when they identified me as a purebred Standard Poodle and that I’m actually a Ninja alligator (or beaver) determined to eviscerate all manner of things. Then again, I suggest that maybe I’m a designer trying to improve on their appearance and function we don’t need any stinking beaks, legs, arms, heads. I mean, really…do cats or mice really need ears?

Feet and ears are clearly unnecessary

But it’s not like I don’t forewarn the toys about what is coming. I stand over them and bark my head off give them fair warning. “Let the evisceration redesign begin!” Lately she mentioned something about a DNA test to confirm her suspicions about what species I am, not what breed. It doesn’t sound like a good thing for me so I’m lying low for a while until I spot the next pair of glasses, socks or slippers.

A small portion of the carnage

Luckily I’m pretty cute when I’m lying low so I think I’m safe. For now, that is.

Is your fur-child a stuffie ‘re-designer’ or an alligator?

Live, love, bark! ❤︎

70 thoughts on “We should have known better

  1. I’m not aware of either of our dogs destroying toys. Bilbo has long been too focused on tennis balls to notice anything else. We bought Lady a squeaky rubber pig and I think she was afraid of it.
    Lady could use a few distractions. She’s been stealing food and always has an eye on our front screen door waiting to get out. She is pure mischief but looks so cute.
    Thanks for linking me through to this post. I really loved it.
    xx Rowena

    1. Glad you enjoyed the post. Neither of my knuckleheads could care a wit about balls. But give Elsa a stuffie…whole ‘nudder story and squeaky ones are mostly so-so. Because she was a puppy mill dog, I suspect it’s probably why she’s such a chewer. Food on a coffee table left unattended would be fair game in her mind. We love our fur-kids, mischief and all, don’t we? 😍

  2. Tippy used to tear up everything. She destroyed one toy that was supposed to be designed for heavy chewers in about 3 seconds. LOL I bought her a couple of new toys at Christmas and she has not disemboweled any of them. All of the ears and feet are still present and accounted for. So, I do believe she has grown out of that stage. Hopefully, Sam will too.

  3. That’s a pretty tasty looking collection of toys you’ve got there!! I’m salivating over them! I’m impressed that they’re still intact!! My humom says I’ve gotten better at keeping my toys now but sometimes it’s just more fun to chew them apart!!

  4. Both my guys like to ‘de-stuff’ although I cannot figure out what determines which toy is the next victim. They can have toys for years with not a mark on them, the BOOM, one day, the toy is destroyed. Go figure.

  5. Benji used to destroy the toys when I first brought him home. He seems to have settled down and he plays with them more than tear them. When things get too stressful and a Certain little tyrant is screaming at him, he tends to just grab his dinosaur and ‘squeek to her” – Weird to see – it’s like a security blanket. Now if I could just get him to put the toys away at the end of the day rather than leave them scattered all down the hall and my bedroom floor.

  6. Elsa,Wilhelmina does not play with the many baskets of dog toys which are at her disposal every day . . . but she does like to choose certain cat toys and destroy them to smithereens! Does that count?

    the critters in the cottage xo

  7. Callie and Shadow chewed on EVERYTHING when they were pups. Until about the age of 5 or 6. Then Ducky came along. It’s amazing we have ANYTHING left that’s actually usable. But, I love them all anyway – to the moon and back!

  8. Long ago, when I was first adopted, I used to eat my toys. Now I just shake them silly. It’s a good thing too, because Mom is TERRIBLE at sewing.

    Love and licks,

    1. First comes the warning bark, then comes the shaking I to submission then finally I’ve figured out the weakness of my victim. It’s usually an ear or a leg by then. Doomsday!!
      Your fur-iend,
      Elsa 🐾

  9. I’m trying not to laugh … not laughing … nope … hahahahahaha. I only laugh because I understand. Bear might be a cat, but he’s tough on everything … my stuff, his toys … if he can chew through it, rip it, or unstuff it – he’s probably done so already. And the stuff he can’t? Yep. That’s probably in one of his stashes, well hidden. Anyone who comes by knows to safeguard their small items. If he was a bigger ninja … I can only imagine the carnage 🙂

  10. Ody’s brother Spilly was a chewer… which is kinda weird for cats, but he chewed up everything! Six years after he left for the Bridge, the marks he left on electrical cords, my laptop charger, and even the water line to my ice maker are still there to remind me of him….

  11. I agree ears and tails or fins for that matter are not necessary. Some of my stuffed friends are special and they need all extremities. I now have a new hobby. The first try didn’t go so well, see my blog. But I did finagle some ice cream out of the ordeal. Benji

  12. Jakey is also a big “stuffie destroyer, and I’ve resulted to just occasionally giving him a toy and letting him go to town…the rest of the time we are stuffless toy owners ;-).

  13. bwaaaahahahahaha I needed that laugh! Let’s see, Milo does not approve of tags. He is trying to detag the house now. His teeth are too little to de-tail toys yet, not too little to pierce the mama you know, but he is basically still taste testing the toys. I imagine he’ll begin the destuffing soon enough. What species indeed! Destruct-oodle.

  14. I’m deprived. I don’t get that kind of toy because I “destroy” them far too quickly even now. When I was teething I redesigned the kitchen – I would have made it through the door if a biped hadn’t come home too soon!

  15. Elsa, your toys are so cute, you should take better care of them. Don’t you know your mom can sell them on Etsy instead of just giving them to you to chew on? 😉

  16. Elsa – tell mom I feel her pain. While Kloe is very good about only destroying her stuffed toys (takes about 15 minutes for her to extract the matting and reduce the ex-toy into flat soggy fabric) and rope toys (takes much longer- days – before turning it back into twine) it is a challenge to find a toy that lasts. On the other hand she also enjoys chewing on soggy fabric and twine. On the other other hand she loves sticks which we have plenty of around The Golden K. So why do I spend $20 on a “non-destructible” toys made out of fire hose that are supposed to withstand even the “most aggressive” chewers when I’ve got 5 acres of free sticks? That’s a good question Elsa! Ask your mom. 😊

  17. You know what Elsa needs? Elsa needs a good natural center bone with marrow from Jones Natural Chews. Or maybe a Bully Bone. That would keep her teeth busy for awhile and distract her from destuffing.

  18. Clearly, Choppy is extremely offended by squeakers in toys, because she de-squeaks every toy that comes into our home. As she’s gotten older, some last longer than 2-3 minutes, but eventually they meet their end.

  19. The four latest arrivals – now between pups and adults, specialise in digging up ancient bones and bringing them indoors….decidedly smelly.
    At least it saves the sofa from being eviscerated…

    1. There is a fair share of bone munching to go with the eviscerations around the ranch and definitely smile inducing for this upright. Four MORE arrivals?? Oh my goodness…you are a trooper, aren’t you?

  20. Elsa, you and some other pups I know have a lot in common. Lucy and Riley love to lay together and make snow in the house. (what species, LOL!)

  21. Rolling with laughter. But how is it that my poodle love tears some toys to smithereens and his one favorite “crack” squeaky soccer ball, which he could easily devour in one gulp, has survived –perfectly intact (even the blasted squeaker)–everyday play for two years?

    1. How funny. Elsa is a non-discriminating girl-she destroys them all…one at a time. But considering she never had anything to pay with for the 1st four years of her life, I’m happy to provide her some makeup time. 🙂 Recovered from the wedding yet?

          1. Absolutely. I certainly can sleep a little better at night knowing my baby is happy. Now, if I could see my oldest on a better path then I’d be over-the-moon times ten.

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