While the rest of the world is publishing cute memes today for Wordless Wednesday, my delinquents gang decided to call an editors’ meeting. As writers we all have to deal with editors and while this day wasn’t totally convenient time wise, I agreed to it. Lately, Elsa seems more interested in the editing process {otherwise known as interrupting me with barks, lots of nose nudges under the arm and pestering in general till she gets the attention she wants}. Since I can always use some inspiration from the muses, I thought, what the heck. Sam frequently comes by when I’m on the laptop and will ‘request’ an editor’s meeeting. So I decided to bribe them with snacks just I used to back when I was in working in the law firm. Nothing seems to inspire people or pets quite like a plate of goodies, so when I put a plate out, they practically dashed to the ‘conference’ room. Here’s a transcript of our meeting.
Elsa: Oooh, hiya, mom. Is that plate of goodies for our editors’ meeting?
Mom: Hi sweetie. Yup, thought we could all use a snack while we’re working. Kind of helps the creative process or so I’m told. It always worked well in the law office when…
Sam: [Interrupting as he barges into the conference room] Yo dudes…what be shaking?
Elsa: Dudes? What. are. you. yapping. about? It’s my first editors’ meeting. Isn’t that cool, I’m so excited, let’s get started on the agenda. I think the first item on the agenda are those treats!
Sam: Wait what…now she’s barging in on my editor’s meetings, the ones where I crawl across your lap, rest my head on the laptop, receive extra attention and ear scratches so you can’t get any work done?
Elsa: You mean you get extra attention at these meetings? Woof! Sign. me. up!
Mom: Um, we seem to be starting off topic already. We’re supposed to be figuring out ways for you guys to inspire me on future posts.
Sam: Inspire?! You mean I have to work here and there won’t be any attention or extra ear scratches just for showing up? What kind of chicanery is that? Um, could someone please pass a treat?
Mom: Sam, you know the rules, there is no such thing as a free lunch treat. You have to earn them.
Sam: [Looking mortified at the thought of having to actually earn a treat.]
Elsa: I have some questions and was told you know the answer to everything so I’m hoping you can explain a few things to me.
Mom: Well, I’ll certainly try my best. Go for it.
Elsa: Ooh, ooh, mom, mom, MOOOOOMMMM!!!!!
Mom: Whaaaaat Elsa? You’re standing right here next to me! You don’t need to bark shout.
Elsa: Well…First I was wondering how come when we’re walking along and I spy a squirrel 87 feet ahead of us and we’re sneaking up on it nicely and I’ve got the pawfect plan ready to snag it with my jaws of steel when suddenly, ‘someone’ slams on the brakes and we lurch to a complete stop…totally messing up my pawsome timing and allowing said squirrel in my sights to scamper away?
Mom: Funny you should mention that. There are many days when I feel like I’m in the Middle Ages with you two trying to draw and quarter me. Your tearing my shoulder out of its socket as you race toward unsuspecting critters and mom’s in one direction and on the other side, Sam ripping my shoulder out from slamming on the breaks so he can take a pee break in the opposite direction.
Elsa: Yeah, what’s up with that anyway? He does that every 10 feet.
Sam: Hey, I’m just catching up on the local gossip around the ‘hood, reading and writing pee mails.
Elsa: Pfft…writing…ha! More like texting like a little girl.
Sam: Hey, I’ll have you know I’m leaving impawtant messages for the brahs in the neighborhood. Maybe I’m also being chivalrous telling the male dawgs to stay away from my sister. Did you ever think about that?
Elsa: Wow, you can say all that in 5 drops?! Mom, how does that work?
Mom: Well Elsa, it’s just something boy dogs do, they mark territory.
Elsa: Wow, who’d have thought you could put all that info in a teeny text pee?
Sam: Those are NOT texts!! I’ll have you know, I’m the master of brevity.
Elsa: Haha. Whatever gets you through the night. I’ve read those texts…they all read like gibberish. They don’t even make any grammatical sense. I mean, puleez. Who you trying to kid with that hooey?
Sam: Wait, you’re reading my pee mails? What kind of sorcery is this, Ninja?
Mom: Um, can we get back to the agenda by the whole “attempt to inspire me?” You know, something clever for our readers?
Elsa: But mom, I need to know, how come he does that? And while you’re answering questions, why is the sky blue? And when are we going on a hike to see the leaves change colors in the high country? And…and…and…
Mom: Ugh. Meeting adjourned. I need to get some real work done.
Sam [walking out of the room with Elsa]: See, I told you she doesn’t know everything.
Elsa: She knows a whole lot more than you do, doofus.
Are your editor meetings as ‘productive?’
Live, love, bark! ❤︎
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